Time – The Lowedown

People Fuel is an important read for those who are wanting to experience growth and change and realize that people are necessary to help us experience transformation in our lives.

Townsend identifies a number of “nutrients” that are necessary for growth and he identifies how these nutrients are received and delivered via our various relational networks.

Townsend spends ample time talking about the kinds of relationships we need in order to receive the right nutrients, but he also gives plenty of examples to show how it works out practically in our relationships.

I found this book to be an enjoyable read as Townsend’s writing style is easy and engaging with plenty of relevant information mixed with real life stories and examples.

But this book was also challenging, particularly during Covid, where building relationships has proven to be more difficult with lockdowns and restrictions that make it more difficult to interact and engage with others.

As a slight introvert who has struggled to build relational intimacy in the past, I found this book to be challenging yet hopeful at the same time.

There’s a lot of great content and helpful information in this book and I can imagine this being one of those books that gets re-read and referred to frequently as I seek to grow in my own relationships, but also as I mentor others.

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February 9, 2021February 28, 2023

A Tree With No Fruit!

Luke 13

⁶Then Jesus used this illustration: “A man planted a fig tree in his garden and came again and again to see if there was any fruit on it, but he was always disappointed. ⁷Finally, he said to his gardener, ‘I’ve waited three years, and there hasn’t been a single fig! Cut it down. It’s taking up space we can use for something else.’

⁸“The gardener answered, ‘Give it one more chance. Leave it another year, and I’ll give it special attention and plenty of fertilizer. ⁹If we get figs next year, fine. If not, you can cut it down.’” (Luke 13:6-9, NLT)

The Daily DAVEotional

In the first house we owned we had a tangerine tree. It was awesome. There’s nothing like fresh squeezed tangerine juice.

When we moved to our current location, I dreamed of having a tangerine tree so we could have fresh squeezed juice just about whenever we wanted.

It took a couple of years to clear some of the bushes and get the back yard exactly the way we wanted but we finally bought a dwarf tangerine tree and planted it in the corner.

The first year there was no fruit, but I figured, it was still growing. The next year, it looked like it was ready to start producing as I could see a couple of tiny tangerines beginning to grow.

And then we got a puppy.

If you know anything about puppies, they like to chew things and one of the things our dog chewed on was that tangerine tree. (For more on doggie destructiveness, read my post: Life Lessons From Our Dog). I put some mesh wiring around the base of the tree to keep the dog from destroying the tree but I wasn’t sure if it was too little too late.

Lo and behold, the tree was saved and it began to grow back (see photo on top left). But it’s been almost five years since then and we still haven’t seen one piece of fruit.

This passage from Luke reminds me of my tangerine tree. I’m about ready to toss it out and get another tree, perhaps one that is more fully developed – one that I know will yield me the fruit that I’m so often craving.

Henry Cloud appeals to this passage to illustrate what he refers to as “The Growth Model.”

When you’re thinking about growth and development, Dr. Cloud says there are three ingredients that are necessary: grace, truth and time.

In this example, the tree is not producing fruit. That is the reality. The owner wants to chop it down and put something else in its place, something that will produce fruit.

The gardener urges the owner to give the tree “one more chance”. The gardener wants to intentionally apply these 3 necessary ingredients for growth to see if the tree will respond and begin to produce fruit.

The time is the extra year. What is the truth in this scenario? The truth is the special attention gardener promises to give the tree.

But what is the grace?

We often think of grace as unmerited favor – the free gift of salvation that is given to us by Jesus through His sacrificial death on the cross.

In this illustration, the grace is the fertilizer. It’s the ingredient the tree cannot provide for itself that comes from an outside source.

Like that tree, we also need grace, truth and time in order to grow and develop. Truth is reality. It’s the realization that we have an issue or problem we need to work through.

Grace is the ingredient that you cannot provide for yourself. It may come in the form of support or motivation or help from someone else.

If we have appropriate levels of grace and truth in our lives applied over time, we can experience growth. We will be like the tangerine tree, producing sweet fruit that is evident and enjoyed by many!

NOTE: For a real life example of how grace and truth helps promote growth and change, read my post from December 15 on “Discipleship and Change Through Coaching.”

Reflection

Which of the three elements do you need in your life to experience growth in an area where you may have struggled to see improvement?

What are some areas of your life where you’ve struggled to experience real change?

How can you apply the principles from this passage to help you see progress?

Photos by Dave Lowe

March 7, 2018

Time is on Our Side

I’ve been reflecting on the idea of time a lot lately. Several things have all conspired and converged to cause me to reflect on the idea of time.

Third Day’s third album was aptly named “Time”.

Earlier this week, I received an e-mail from one of my favorite bands, Third Day, announcing their Farewell Tour. This band has been together for 25 years (as long as we’ve been married) and they’ve decided their time is coming to an end.

On the one hand, it’s hard to believe this band has been around for 25 years! On the other hand, it’s sad to think that their time is coming to an end. I have fond memories of attending several of their concerts and I’ve been reminiscing lately by listening to all the Third Day music I own, including their 3rd CD, aptly named “Time.”

Last week, Jen and I traveled to UCLA for her 3 month appointment to see her Rheumatologist. She also saw her Pulmonologist, got her annual CT scan and her 6 month pulmonary function test. It was a very full day and I was reminded that it was 3 years ago almost exactly that we first visited UCLA. Three years seems like a long time but a lot can happen in just a couple of years.

January 2015 – just a few weeks before we finally began seeing experts at UCLA

A staff colleague e-mailed me yesterday, asking for contact information of a friend. I did a quick e-mail search for my friend to see what his current e-mail was and it pulled up an e-mail from 3 years ago that we had sent out when we were heading to UCLA for the first time. We were nervous about this initial visit and asking for prayer and my friend had responded to that e-mail telling us that he and his wife were praying for us.

In the body of that e-mail I had posted a picture of Jen with our twins just a few weeks earlier when she was in the hospital. She was smiling and upbeat but the effects of her condition were obvious. Seeing that picture was a stark reminder to me of just how much has changed in just 3 years.

Mother’s Day 2017 – a lot can change in just a few short years!

I’m not really much of a Rolling Stones fan but there is a popular song of theirs that says, “Time is on my side…yes it is.”

I don’t often think about time as being on my side. Like many people, I tend to be impatient and I want things to be the way I want them and I want it NOW! We live in a culture where everything is URGENT. But what we’ve learned about ministry and about people is that there are no shortcuts to maturity. You can’t microwave a person’s growth and development.

As we think about ministering to Young Professionals, our hope and desire is to develop leaders of depth who are unleashed to make an impact for Christ in their communities.

Jen meets with a group of Young Professional women in her Leadership Development Group.

We know that building anything of significance often takes time, and as my friend and mentor Jim Sylvester often likes to say, “Time is your friend.” It appears that time is on our side…yes it is!

Four and a half years ago, I started a neighborhood community through Nextdoor, a social media website that seeks to create community by connecting neighbors who live in established neighborhoods.

Young Professionals unwinding at a beach meet-up

When we first launched our Nextdoor community, it seemed like a struggle just to get 10 verified members to join within the allotted time frame. And now, almost 5 years later, there are nearly 600 members in our community, with over 40% of our neighborhood participating. At some point, this neighborhood network took on a life of its own and growth exploded.

Our hope and prayer is that our ministry to Young Professionals will take a similar path. Growth may seem slow at times but we know that time is on our side…yes it is!

Thanks for journeying with us!