Twins – The Lowedown

January 8, 2020

Casting Away 2019

A few nights ago, while channel surfing, I stumbled across the Golden Globes broadcast. Tom Hanks was being honored with the Cecil B. DeMille award for his lasting impact on the movie industry.

During the monologue outlining Mr. Hanks’ long and illustrious career, there were short clips of the many noteworthy films he has starred in, including Saving Private Ryan, Forrest Gump, Apollo 13 and Cast Away.

The short clip of Cast Away showed a scene where Hanks is talking to a face-painted Volleyball he has named Wilson.

Tom Hanks, paints “Wilson” the volleyball, in the movie Cast Away

If you’re not familiar with the movie, the following may be considered a spoiler alert. In the movie, Hanks is the lone survivor of a FedEx plane crash where he finds himself stranded on a deserted island with only a few salvageable packages, one of which is a volleyball.

Hanks paints a face on the volleyball and since it is a Wilson branded ball, he begins calling it Wilson. Throughout the movie, Hanks talks to the ball as if it’s a real person, even responding to the ball as if it has talked back to him.

Jen and Jacob share an embrace in August at the beginning of Plebe Parent Weekend at the U.S. Naval Academy.

This strange dialogue might lead the viewer to conclude that Hanks, being alone on a small deserted island with no human contact, is going mad. But as the movie progresses, it becomes clear that Hanks’ dialogue with Wilson doesn’t indicate a step into insanity, but instead it’s a step to prevent insanity.

Hanks becomes so connected to Wilson that the movie-viewer can feel the anguish as Wilson begins to drift away beyond reach during Hanks’ attempted island escape.

As weird as this may seem, I can relate a bit to that feeling of anguish as the ball floats away. Numerous times this past year, we’ve had to say goodbye to our boys, and they have had to say goodbye to each other. Each time, there is a profound sense of sadness as we go our separate ways.

Jacob (left) and Joshua are all smiles after seeing each other right before Thanksgiving for the first time in months.

Even with amazing technological advancements such as texting and video chat, there still exists a deep longing and profound desire to to be with the people you love.

It appears that as humans we’ve been created with a deep need for human connection; our souls long for the physical presence of others.

In our ministry to Young Professionals, we know that this need and longing for connection IS the biggest need and challenge that they face. All of the most recent research and our own experience affirms that this is the case. Young Adults are desperately seeking meaningful connections with people who are in their life-stage.

Pray for Jacob (left) and Joshua as they enter the 2nd semester of their frosh year apart from each other.

In the past few years, we’ve positioned ourselves well to minister to Young Professionals by providing Leadership Development, Vocational Discipleship and professional level coaching. Yet a primary need and problem is helping Young Professionals develop significant connections with others.

As we reflect back on the lessons of 2019 and look forward to 2020, we would appreciate your prayers in these areas:

Pray for Jen and me to pursue and maintain significant relationships that would feed our souls and encourage us to press on as we face new challenges.
Pray for our boys to develop deep relational connections with others at their respective academies.
Pray for us to help the Young Professionals we encounter forge solid friendships with others that will spur them to continue to walk with Jesus and serve Him wherever they are.

We are grateful for you and your ministry to us. May you be richly blessed in 2020!

June 3, 2019June 3, 2019

Sibling Rivalries

**Dave** (left, 5 years old) and brother, **Tom** (6 years old)

Growing up, my brother Tom (who is a year older than me) and I were often mistaken for twins. I could never understand it because in my mind, we clearly look different (and I’m obviously the better looking one) but we were always about the same size growing up and often competed on the same sports teams.

In high school, we were sparring partners on the wrestling team. Practice matches could get very intense as we tried to best one another and on more than one occasion, the whole team gathered around us, entertainingly watching us as we “went at it”. In practice matches, we were rivals, but outside of practice we always had each other’s back. We wrestled in adjacent weight classes and often provided a 1-2 punch for the team, taking out the opponent’s light weights for a quick team lead. Our coach would sometimes jokingly refer to us as “Cheeseburger and Fries”, “Peanut Butter and Jelly” or “Combo Deluxe”!

**Dave** (left, 9 years old) and brother, **Tom** (10 years old) – Yankees Little League team

Growing up as identical twins, Jacob and Joshua have always been incredibly close, as you can imagine. We joke that they were “Womb-mates”. But over the years, I’ve noticed some of the same sibling rivalry tendencies that I shared with my brother.

The other day, I was hanging out with my friend Pat, who was also our twins’ 5th grade Sunday School teacher. He shared about how they would show up early for Sunday School and immediately begin working on the weekly “Word Scramble” activity. Jacob and Joshua would feverishly attempt to be the first to finish, sometimes even arguing over who had “won” the competition for that week. He laughed that they often seemed more interested in beating the other one instead of figuring out how the activity connected with the lesson.

Even in running, there have been a number of occasions where things got heated and tempers flared as one tried to outdo the other at practice. But on the track or out on the course, Jacob and Joshua have always had each other’s back, often working together to outduel the competition.

It was not surprising to us that our boys applied to all the same colleges and made plans to go the same school. Nor was it surprising, because of their discipline and desire for both academic and physical challenge, that military academies were at the top of their list of college choices.

**Joshua** (left, heading to West Point) and **Jacob** (right, heading to the Naval Academy) suddenly find themselves as collegiate rivals, not just sibling rivals.

What we never really considered was the possibility that they could end up going to different colleges. Through a series of unforeseen circumstances, that’s exactly what has happened. Beginning this summer, just 2 weeks after graduating, Jacob will report to the U.S. Naval Academy, while Joshua will report to West Point. Because of different recruiting strategies by the school’s respective coaches, Jacob will for sure be running Cross Country and Track for the Naval team, while Joshua will attempt to earn a spot onto the West Point team. Jacob and Joshua may find themselves in the position of being true competitive rivals, which could make for some very interesting family discussions.

As I consider this unique situation, I realize that rivalries aren’t always bad. Proverbs 27:17 says that “as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” A healthy version of rivalry can help push us to become the best possible version of ourselves.

Our prayer for Jacob and Joshua, in this next season of life, is that even though they will be attending rival schools and may even find themselves as rivals on the field, they will be siblings first, pushing each other and rooting for one another to become the best possible version of themselves.

We are grateful for you and your prayers for us and our twins. We would greatly appreciate your continued prayers for them as they enter this next season of life, not only being away from home but also being without each other for the first time. And please pray for us too as we officially become “empty nesters”.

BONUS MATERIAL: As I was preparing for this post, I came across an article about a famous set of identical twins who wrote competing advice columns. Did you know that the women behind the famous advice columns “Ask Ann Landers” and “Dear Abby” were identical twin sisters? And apparently (as well as ironically), they didn’t get along. Their competing columns created a bitter rivalry in which they didn’t even speak to each other for years. You can read more about their rivalry in this article and also here.

November 7, 2018

The Anchor of Hope

For the last year and half, Jen and I have been volunteering as coaches at an Orange County High School. Once a week, a group of students spend an hour with us going through a curriculum that teaches life skills and principles designed to help students experience greater success in pursuing their goals and ambitions.

Pedro was a student in Dave’s coaching group this last spring

To be honest, these groups are a real challenge. Many of these students are unmotivated and have been hardened by the circumstances of life.

Some have had close friends killed as a result of gang violence. Others have relatives who have been in and out of jail. Some have witnessed shootings. For many, there is a feeling of hopelessness.

Dictionary.com defines hope as “the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.” But what do you do when events don’t turn out the way you wanted or life delivers unexpected hardships?

Our twins are in the middle of their senior year and they’ve been thinking and dreaming about life after high school. Their hope is to attend a military academy and they’ve been working diligently for the last several years to put themselves in a position to achieve that goal. But obtaining an appointment to any of the service academies is incredibly competitive. It might not work out the way they’ve planned.

Joshua (left) and Jacob experienced a week at West Point over the summer and are hoping to gain acceptance to one of the service academies as their college choice.

There is a tremendous amount of hopelessness in our culture these days, especially among Millennials. Many are discouraged by the political system and by how polarized we seem to be on many issues. Others are discouraged by the high cost of education and the amount of indebtedness they’ve incurred. For some, the job market is not as promising as they had hoped and the American dream seems elusive.

The Bible has a lot to say about hope. The author of Hebrews says that “we have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” The hope being spoken of is that God cannot lie, and therefore we can trust in His promises. The author says that Jesus is our High Priest who has gone into the inner sanctuary to make atonement for our sin, and as a result, we can run to God and take refuge.

Dave speaks to the UCLA Cru students at their weekly meeting

In other words, we can know God and we can come into His presence. He will not deny us no matter what we’ve done or we might be feeling about ourselves.

Jesus is the only one who can be an anchor of hope for our souls. Everything else will either let us down or is ultimately fleeting. We cannot put our hope in our job or in the political system or the college we want to attend. None of those things can provide ultimate meaning and purpose for our lives. Only Jesus can do that.

Thanks for your partnership with us in helping Young Professionals find meaning and purpose in Jesus, the hope of glory!

January 14, 2018

A 16 Year Old Question Finally Answered

December marked the 16th anniversary of our adoption of Jacob and Joshua. I remember the Family court judge expressing her appreciation to be a part of a story that had a positive outcome, which I gathered was not the norm for her court.

Jacob (held by Jen) and Joshua (held by Dave) are officially adopted in December 2001.

From the very beginning, Jacob and Joshua have looked alike. In fact, when we were about to take them from the hospital home that they had experienced their first 3 weeks of life, the nurses were so concerned that we might not know who was whom that they tied a little tag on the toe of each one so we wouldn’t get them mixed up.

Despite the fact that they looked so similar at birth, we were informed that they were fraternal twins and not identical. Naturally, we assumed that over time, they would begin to look as different as any non-twin siblings might.

That has not been the case. Most of their sports coaches over the years have not been able to tell them apart, nor have many of their teachers. While some of their closer friends have learned to identify them, many of their Cross Country teammates refer to them simply as “LoweBros”. And as crazy as this sounds, Jacob and Joshua to this day will sometimes look at a recent photo of both of them (like their most recent Cross Country team photo for example) and mistake their twin for themselves!

The question that we often get is: are they identical? Our answer has always been an uncertain, “well, we were told they were fraternal but we think they might be identical but we can’t really know for sure unless we get a DNA test.”

Last Fall, Jen saw a Black Friday deal for a heritage test sponsored by 23andme.com, a company that specializes in creating ancestry profiles based on a person’s DNA sample. Jen purchased kits for our entire family and after sending in our samples, we waited to see what the reports might reveal.

After a couple of weeks, the reports came back, and our long-time suspicions have been confirmed…Jacob and Joshua share 100% of their DNA, which means that they are identical twins!

Even though they’re identical, they’re still unique, with their own personalities, interests, strengths and weaknesses. This is what amazes me about God. Literally, billions of people have walked this earth and no two of them have ever been exactly alike. Each person has their own story.

Jacob left and Joshua take a photo before getting their hair cut in preparation to attend Service Academy Night.

As I think about our job of reaching this Millennial generation and helping them to thrive spiritually and live missionally, the task can seem overwhelming. There is so much we’re trying to figure out and learn. There’s so much we don’t know.

I take comfort in the idea that we don’t have to know everything to move forward. We simply treat each person as the unique individual they are. We learn their stories and we walk along-side them and help them, as much as we can, to experience Jesus in their lives.

We are grateful for your role in our life journey. Thanks for walking alongside us through the ups and downs and uncertainties of life. We are grateful for your friendship and partnership!

Click the link to see: Twins Through the Years