Tag: Spiritual Growth

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A “Golden” Opportunity

Helping out our Cru Military ministry at the FamilyLife Conference in Anaheim

Lately, we’ve been thinking a lot about marriage. In November, Jen and I attended a Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference hosted by FamilyLife. It was excellent. If you haven’t been to one, we highly recommend it.

In February, Jen and I helped out at a Weekend to Remember Conference in Anaheim. There were a number of military couples attending and our Cru Military ministry had a special booth and specific resources to help military families navigate the unique marital struggles they encounter.

In February, our church embarked on a 3 year plan that will lay the foundation for the next 45 years. One of the initiatives that is laid out as part of the “Dream Now” vision is strengthening families. A statistic that was shared is that 70% of all marriages in Orange County end in divorce.

We know all too well how the breakdown of the family has impacted the Young Adults of today. The landscape of families has encountered a seismic shift in the last 40-50 years.

An often quoted statistic about the spiritual influence men have with their family

When I was a kid, I didn’t know anyone whose parents were divorced. Today, divorce is so common that it’s almost strange to meet a Young Adult whose parents are still together.

All of this has created some unique challenges and opportunities when it comes to ministry.

Young Adults are less likely to have a strong extended family to rely on for support, whether it’s emotional or financial.

Because the nuclear family has been so fractured over the past 50 years, many Young Adults are longing for older adults who can provide mentoring and sage life advice that older family members have traditionally provided. I can’t tell you how often a Young Adult has mentioned to me or to Jen that they have nobody in their life who is older with whom they can discuss life issues.

For the last few years, I’ve been very involved in men’s ministry at our church (Jen is also very involved in the women’s ministry). I do some occasional teaching and I give leadership to a group of men who meet early on a weekly basis.

I’ve enjoyed applying all of the ministry training and experience I’ve accrued over the years to help older guys grow in their spiritual lives.

As I’ve connected with men over the years, I’ve realized that spiritually speaking, old guys have the same needs as young guys. Men want to make a difference and they want their lives to count. Men often want to take steps to grow spiritually but many times, they don’t know what to do beyond attending church, giving money and being involved in a small group.

Lately, we’ve been wondering if we can somehow “marry” our day job (Young Adults) with our part-time ministry to older adults.

Young Adults overwhelmingly indicate they want older people in their lives to function as mentors and even spiritual guides.

Older adults often communicate a strong desire to make an impact in others, particularly the younger generation.

Partnering with Cru Military at a Family Life Conference. Multiple ministries collaborating and intersecting.

What if we could help older Christians take steps to mentor and influence the young adults around them?

We’ve actually had this idea for a while but it’s been brought to the forefront more recently as God has provided numerous situations and personal examples that have made this need obvious and undeniable.

Our vision is not just to mentor Young Adults directly, though we are doing that. What we really want to do is to multiply our impact by equipping others, particularly older, wiser and more mature believers to take steps to pour into and impact Young adults. We believe that there is a golden opportunity for those who are entering their golden years!

Perhaps that sounds interesting. If so, let us know. We’d love to hear your thoughts and provide support and help for you to take meaningful steps that would enable you to make an impact in the lives of others!

Thank you for your continued prayers and partnership that enables us to minister to Young Adults…and Old Adults as well!

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Hidden Barriers to Experiencing Change

Jen and I had just parked the car and were heading over to the restaurant, where we were scheduled to meet long-time friends on the first day of our East Coast trip. I glanced at my phone and noticed a new text from our dog sitter. My heart beat instantly elevated as I read the text and learned that there was a water leak in our house.

A quick phone call and some remote sleuthing led me to determine that we likely had a slab leak. Why do these things always seem to happen when we’re out of town? This was the first day of our trip in which we were planning to see our sons at West Point during Parent weekend. I was now wondering if we would have to cut our trip short and head home.

Carpet damage extended beyond the hallway, into the neighboring living room as well as the downstairs bedroom.

The good news was that we had caught it early. Our dog sitter was able to get the water shut off and clean up the water, which was mostly contained in the laundry area and surrounding hallway. It seemed as if we had dodged a bullet and avoided a huge crisis.

However, when we returned from our trip, it quickly became apparent that the damage was more extensive than we had thought. The carpet stains revealed water had gone throughout the downstairs, not just in a small area in front of our laundry closet.

We called a restoration company and learned that there was moisture in a number of walls surrounding the affected areas.

A system of water-filled coolers and thermoses allowed us to use our toilets for a few days.

Our hope was to get the walls dried up and then repipe our house. We figured we could live without running water for a few days so I devised a plan to fill a couple of large coolers with water from my neighbor’s hose. This water would be used to fill our toilet tanks so we could use them.

My plans were dashed as I learned that the restoration company wouldn’t be able to begin work immediately because our house is older and the walls needed to be tested first for lead and asbestos.

Our vinyl tile was “toxic” so it had to be treated by specially qualified professionals.

That took a few days and though our walls ultimately came back negative, the vinyl tile in the laundry area, which was damaged and needed to be removed, did come back positive for asbestos.

That meant we had to get a special abatement crew to remove the vinyl tile.

Two and a half weeks later, we are finally back in our home with actual running water. But there is still much that needs to happen to get back to normal. It will take weeks, if not months, for things to be fully restored.

Unfortunately, the process of repairing what’s broken & getting back to “normal” often takes longer than we hope or expect. The rebuilding process can uncover hidden issues that must be addressed. Sometimes, we even need experts to help us deal with the issues that may be toxic.

I’ve found that in my spiritual life, change is often like the repairs on my house. Spiritually, the things I struggle with are often caused by deeper, hidden issues that are ignored or not properly addressed.

Walls and ceilings had to be opened up throughout our home in order to “fix” the problem and repipe our house.

Real change often means opening up walls and getting inside before things can really be fixed. And sometimes, we can benefit greatly from the help of others who can help us deal with the highly sensitive and toxic issues in our lives that my be holding us back from experiencing the growth and change Jesus wants for us.

Thank you for your partnership with us and your encouragement to us as we navigate the slab leaks of our home and our spiritual lives.

Please pray for us as we deal with insurance, repairs and the costs related to this latest leak.

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Life is Like a Broken Phone

It was the last day of our Spring Break trip visiting a potential college destination our boys were considering. As I was getting into the rental car, my phone slipped out of my hand and fell to the ground. There was a moment of panic as the phone hit the ground but I had a protective case on it and I had dropped it before and always seemed to avoid any serious damage.

My phone, with the familiar spiderweb-like cracked screen on the bottom right.

The phone was lying face down on the ground. As I picked it up and turned it over, I immediately noticed a spiderweb-like screen crack on the bottom right corner, along with a longer crack stretching across the bottom of the screen. My heart sank in frustration. While my phone wasn’t brand new, it still had plenty of life in it from my perspective. We all know that these new-fangled smart phones aren’t cheap, and one can hardly afford to be buying the latest technology every other year.

I briefly entertained thoughts of self-condemnation, chastising myself for being so careless.

I inspected the phone and found that even with a cracked screen, it appeared to be working normally. I resolved that I would be one of those people who was walking around for months, if not years, with a phone that technically worked on the inside but was clearly damaged on the outside.

Not long after, I noticed that the back plate on the phone was starting to come apart as if it was coming unglued. I wondered if the impact of hitting the ground had weakened the integrity of the back plate, causing it to loosen. I tried to squeeze it back together but clearly the glue was no longer able to hold it in place. I took solace in knowing that the case was holding it all together and it was still working normally.

The back plate on my phone started to come apart. That cant be good!

Over the next few weeks and months, that plate started pulling farther and farther apart. I determined that the issue was not related to the impact of hitting the ground but instead, the battery was failing and beginning to swell, pushing the back plate off and making it impossible to reattach, even with new glue. At that point, I realized that I was going to have to bite the bullet and get a new phone.

After some reflection, I considered how much our lives are like that broken phone. Every single one of us is broken – flawed in some way. It’s inevitable. We are born into a broken and fallen world where nothing works quite the way it was designed, including us. But just because we’re flawed doesn’t mean we can’t thrive and be productive.

Some of our flaws are external and visible to others, like the cracked screen on my phone. But some of our flaws are internal, hidden deep within the depths of our souls, like the battery that began to swell. Perhaps we’re not aware of our issues, or perhaps we are and we’re just really good at hiding our stuff.

The Pharisees were upset that Jesus’ disciples didn’t wash their hands before eating according to Jewish religious traditions. Photo by Samad Deldar from Pexels

In Matthew 15, the Pharisees were upset with Jesus because his disciples didn’t ceremonially wash their hands before eating. Jesus responded to the Pharisees by saying, “from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all other sexual immorality, theft, lying and slander. These are what defile you. Eating with unwashed hands could never defile you and make you unacceptable to God!” (Matthew 15:19-20, NLT)

What Jesus is saying is that our brokenness is an internal issue. All of the ugly stuff that we say and do or think but hide, all stem from our heart. The problem is that just like the battery on my phone began to swell and expand outward, what is on the inside in our hearts inevitably comes out, often in dark and ugly ways.

Unlike our phones when they break, we cannot just order a new, unbroken version of ourselves. We’re stuck with having to navigate broken screens and swelling batteries in our lives.

Jesus provides grace to deal with our brokenness and our internal issues. Photo by Greg Weaver on Unsplash

This is what makes the gospel such good news. The gospel is not just a message that saves us from sin and allows us entrance into heaven some day. The good news is that Jesus understands our pain and our issues and he meets us where we’re at every day. There is grace and forgiveness when we blow it, and there is truth and power to experience freedom and deliverance from sin and shame.

As a Christ-follower, I’m becoming more keenly aware of my brokenness and the internal issues that afflict me. I’m grateful that Jesus loves me and accepts me despite my flaws and issues and my hope is that he will meet me in my brokenness and help me understand my flaws and issues so that I might experience true freedom and victory.

We greatly appreciate your partnership and your prayers for us as we navigate life’s challenges and seek to help Young Professionals do the same!