Tag: Marriage

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What Does it Mean to be Unequally Yoked?

2 Corinthians 6

14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15 What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? 16What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, (2 Corinthians 6:14-16, ESV)

The Daily DAVEotional

Not long ago, I was conversing with a Young adult who was interested in pursuing a relationship. He was under the impression though that this person he was interested in was “off limits” because of Paul’s command in this passage that believers should “not be unequally yoked.”

As we talked further, it was clear to me that his understanding of what Paul was teaching in this passage was not quite accurate. It made me wonder how many Christians misunderstand what this passage is saying.

To properly understand this passage, one has to know something about the function and purpose of a yoke.

A yoke is a tool used by farmers and in the New Testament, which was primarily an agrarian society, the meaning of Paul’s command would have been less confusing than it is to the modern reader who may have never even seen a farm, much less understood a farming term.

A yoke is a wooden bar or collar that fits around a pair of animals (such as oxen) for the purpose of pairing them together to pull a load. Often the yoke had a plow attached to the center of the bar and was used for tilling a plow line.

When pairing two animals to a yoke, it is important that the animals be of equal size and strength. This allows for the plow line to be straight. If the size and strength of the animals yoked together is unequal, you will have the unfortunate situation of one animal overpowering the other, which will cause your plow line to veer or even move in a circular pattern instead of a straight line.

Paul is using this everyday farming illustration that his audience was quite familiar with in order to explain a spiritual reality.

When he says that a believer should not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever, he’s saying that believers should not be united with those who don’t have the same views and values. If you have different beliefs and values, it will be more difficult to move in the same direction and with the same purpose.

This passage is often referenced in the context of dating and marital relationships to show a believer that God doesn’t want them to pursue relationships with non-believers. However, this command is not exclusive to marriage. It applies to other types of relationships as well, such as business partnerships, etc.

The idea is really simple actually. You are trying to plow in a straight line. But if you have two animals that are unequally yoked, that is, not of the same size and strength, you end up with a non-straight plow line. Two animals of equal size and strength will work together more easily. Two animals that are “unequal” are more likely to work against each other. The objective of plowing that straight line becomes increasingly more difficult, if not impossible.

Now let’s relate this to relationships. What is Paul saying?

A Christian has a set of beliefs about God and a core set of values about how to live life. A non-Christian has a completely different set of beliefs and values. When you’re in a marriage relationship, or even a business partnership, it is difficult to move forward and in the same direction if the two partners have different and competing beliefs and values.

In a marriage relationship, this gets even more complicated when kids are involved. Questions like, “how will we raise the kids?”, “what faith tradition will we practice?”, “how will we administer discipline?”, and other important questions must be addressed. These issues often become the source of great conflict as each partner seeks to exert their beliefs, values and preferences.

It’s quite common in marriage for partners to compromise and change their views over time in order to achieve marital harmony and minimize conflict. In a situation with one believing spouse and one unbelieving spouse, the danger is that the believing spouse will compromise their beliefs and values in order to accommodate the unbelieving spouse.

This tendency to be influenced over time by the beliefs and values of non-believers is exactly why God, in the Old Testament, warned and even commanded the Israelites against marrying foreigners. The danger was that the pagan foreigners would negatively influence their spouse to drift away from worship of the true God. In the most extreme case, the believer might forsake God altogether and begin worshiping foreign gods and pagan deities.

This is exactly what happened with Solomon later in life. Countless other biblical examples could be cited that demonstrate the dangers of which Paul is warning.

So what does it mean when Paul commands believers not to be unequally yoked?

It means don’t align yourself or permanently partner yourself with someone who does not have the same biblical beliefs and spiritual values. If you do, you will likely find yourself with plenty of conflict and disharmony as each person seeks to control the direction of the relationship or partnership according to their beliefs and values. The pursuit of God is likely to become minimized or eliminated altogether.

One final note on this passage. In explaining his reasons for not being unequally yoked, Paul says, “what accord does Christ have with Belial?”

The term “Belial” was understood as a euphemism for “Satan”. This is a strong statement. Paul is saying that the unbeliever’s beliefs and values are following Satan. He does NOT mean that unbelievers are Satan worshipers. But just as Jesus, in John 8, told the Pharisees that they were unwittingly, and unknowingly following the devil, the father of lies, because they were rejecting him, so Paul is saying that those who are unbelievers, as wholesome, nice and moral as they may appear, are unwittingly and unknowingly following Satan, who will use any tool or method at his disposal to create chaos, disorder and conflict in order to render a believer in Christ ineffective and useless.

So if you’re a follower of Christ and you’re thinking about entering into a relationship with someone who is NOT a follower of Christ, THINK AGAIN!

(For more on Jesus’ exchange with the Pharisees in John 8, which included his proclamation that they were following their father, Satan, see my blog post, “Who’s Your Daddy?”)

Reflection

What examples have you seen that show the dangers of being unequally yoked, either in marriage or a business partnership? 

What advice would you give a person who is thinking of pursuing a dating relationship with someone who does not share their Christian faith? How would you counsel this person?

If being equally yoked means sharing the same beliefs and values, how would you go about determining whether the other person’s beliefs and values are “equal” to yours?

As a Christian, what beliefs and values do you think are essential to include in your list to evaluate whether the other person is “equally yoked”.

 

Photo by Paul Jai on Unsplash

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A “Golden” Opportunity

Helping out our Cru Military ministry at the FamilyLife Conference in Anaheim

Lately, we’ve been thinking a lot about marriage. In November, Jen and I attended a Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference hosted by FamilyLife. It was excellent. If you haven’t been to one, we highly recommend it.

In February, Jen and I helped out at a Weekend to Remember Conference in Anaheim. There were a number of military couples attending and our Cru Military ministry had a special booth and specific resources to help military families navigate the unique marital struggles they encounter.

In February, our church embarked on a 3 year plan that will lay the foundation for the next 45 years. One of the initiatives that is laid out as part of the “Dream Now” vision is strengthening families. A statistic that was shared is that 70% of all marriages in Orange County end in divorce.

We know all too well how the breakdown of the family has impacted the Young Adults of today. The landscape of families has encountered a seismic shift in the last 40-50 years.

An often quoted statistic about the spiritual influence men have with their family

When I was a kid, I didn’t know anyone whose parents were divorced. Today, divorce is so common that it’s almost strange to meet a Young Adult whose parents are still together.

All of this has created some unique challenges and opportunities when it comes to ministry.

Young Adults are less likely to have a strong extended family to rely on for support, whether it’s emotional or financial.

Because the nuclear family has been so fractured over the past 50 years, many Young Adults are longing for older adults who can provide mentoring and sage life advice that older family members have traditionally provided. I can’t tell you how often a Young Adult has mentioned to me or to Jen that they have nobody in their life who is older with whom they can discuss life issues.

For the last few years, I’ve been very involved in men’s ministry at our church (Jen is also very involved in the women’s ministry). I do some occasional teaching and I give leadership to a group of men who meet early on a weekly basis.

I’ve enjoyed applying all of the ministry training and experience I’ve accrued over the years to help older guys grow in their spiritual lives.

As I’ve connected with men over the years, I’ve realized that spiritually speaking, old guys have the same needs as young guys. Men want to make a difference and they want their lives to count. Men often want to take steps to grow spiritually but many times, they don’t know what to do beyond attending church, giving money and being involved in a small group.

Lately, we’ve been wondering if we can somehow “marry” our day job (Young Adults) with our part-time ministry to older adults.

Young Adults overwhelmingly indicate they want older people in their lives to function as mentors and even spiritual guides.

Older adults often communicate a strong desire to make an impact in others, particularly the younger generation.

Partnering with Cru Military at a Family Life Conference. Multiple ministries collaborating and intersecting.

What if we could help older Christians take steps to mentor and influence the young adults around them?

We’ve actually had this idea for a while but it’s been brought to the forefront more recently as God has provided numerous situations and personal examples that have made this need obvious and undeniable.

Our vision is not just to mentor Young Adults directly, though we are doing that. What we really want to do is to multiply our impact by equipping others, particularly older, wiser and more mature believers to take steps to pour into and impact Young adults. We believe that there is a golden opportunity for those who are entering their golden years!

Perhaps that sounds interesting. If so, let us know. We’d love to hear your thoughts and provide support and help for you to take meaningful steps that would enable you to make an impact in the lives of others!

Thank you for your continued prayers and partnership that enables us to minister to Young Adults…and Old Adults as well!

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Is God Against Interracial Marriages?

Deuteronomy 7

1“When the LORD your God brings you into the land you are about to enter and occupy, he will clear away many nations ahead of you: the Hittites, Girgashites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites. These seven nations are all more powerful than you. 2When the LORD your God hands these nations over to you and you conquer them, you must completely destroy them. Make no treaties with them and show them no mercy. 3Do not intermarry with them, and don’t let your daughters and sons marry their sons and daughters. 4They will lead your young people away from me to worship other gods. Then the anger of the LORD will burn against you, and he will destroy you. 5Instead, you must break down their pagan altars and shatter their sacred pillars. Cut down their Asherah poles and burn their idols. 6For you are a holy people, who belong to the LORD your God. Of all the people on earth, the LORD your God has chosen you to be his own special treasure. (Deuteronomy 7:1-6, NLT)

Ezra 9

1But then the Jewish leaders came to me and said, “Many of the people of Israel, and even some of the priests and Levites, have not kept themselves separate from the other peoples living in the land. They have taken up the detestable practices of the Canaanites, Hittites, Perizzites, Jebusites, Ammonites, Moabites, Egyptians, and Amorites. 2For the men of Israel have married women from these people and have taken them as wives for their sons. So the holy race has become polluted by these mixed marriages. To make matters worse, the officials and leaders are some of the worst offenders.”

3When I heard this, I tore my clothing, pulled hair from my head and beard, and sat down utterly shocked. 4Then all who trembled at the words of the God of Israel came and sat with me because of this unfaithfulness of his people. And I sat there utterly appalled until the time of the evening sacrifice.

5At the time of the sacrifice, I stood up from where I had sat in mourning with my clothes torn. I fell to my knees, lifted my hands to the LORD my God. 6I prayed, “O my God, I am utterly ashamed; I blush to lift up my face to you. For our sins are piled higher than our heads, and our guilt has reached to the heavens. 7Our whole history has been one of great sin. That is why we and our kings and our priests have been at the mercy of the pagan kings of the land. We have been killed, captured, robbed, and disgraced, just as we are today.

8“But now we have been given a brief moment of grace, for the LORD our God has allowed a few of us to survive as a remnant. He has given us security in this holy place. Our God has brightened our eyes and granted us some relief from our slavery. 9For we were slaves, but in his unfailing love our God did not abandon us in our slavery. Instead, he caused the kings of Persia to treat us favorably. He revived us so that we were able to rebuild the Temple of our God and repair its ruins. He has given us a protective wall in Judah and Jerusalem.

10“And now, O our God, what can we say after all of this? For once again we have ignored your commands! 11Your servants the prophets warned us that the land we would possess was totally defiled by the detestable practices of the people living there. From one end to the other, the land is filled with corruption. 12You told us not to let our daughters marry their sons, and not to let our sons marry their daughters, and not to help those nations in any way. You promised that if we avoided these things, we would become a prosperous nation. You promised that we would enjoy the good produce of the land and leave this prosperity to our children as an inheritance forever.

13“Now we are being punished because of our wickedness and our great guilt. But we have actually been punished far less than we deserve, for you, our God, have allowed some of us to survive as a remnant. 14But now we are again breaking your commands and intermarrying with people who do these detestable things. Surely your anger will destroy us until even this little remnant no longer survives. 15O LORD, God of Israel, you are just. We stand before you in our guilt as nothing but an escaped remnant, though in such a condition none of us can stand in your presence.” (Ezra 9:1-15, NLT)

The Daily DAVEotional

What does the Bible say about interracial marriage? Is God against it?

Some have argued that God’s design was for the races to remain pure and as a result, God prohibits interracial marriages. The Bible has been used by some in the past to promote the view that interracial marriages are wrong and against God’s design.

In America for example, some states prohibited interracial marriages as recently as 1967. Biblical passages have often been cited in support of this view.

Interracial Marriage in the United States

Richard and Mildred Loving were married in 1958 in Virginia. Richard was a white man and Mildred was ethnically mixed with Black and Native heritage. 

Virginia law at the time prohibited interracial cohabitation so Richard and Mildred were arrested and given a choice – either go to prison or leave the state of Virginia. They chose to leave Virginia.

However, they challenged the legality of Virginia’s law and their case made it all the way to the Supreme Court, which, in a landmark 1967 ruling, declared that laws against inter-racial marriages were unconstitutional, a violation of the 14th amendment. (Taken from an article on NPR.org) 

In my reading today, I read these two different passages from Deuteronomy and Ezra that amazingly, talked about the same issue within the nation of Israel – God’s prohibition of mixed marriages.

These passages, at first glance, seem to argue that God does indeed prohibit mixed marriage, or interracial marriage. For example, Deuteronomy 7:2,-3 says:

2When the LORD your God hands these nations over to you and you conquer them, you must completely destroy them. Make no treaties with them and show them no mercy. 3Do not intermarry with them, and don’t let your daughters and sons marry their sons and daughters.

Ezra 9:2 appears even stronger in its denunciation of mixed marriages:

2For the men of Israel have married women from these people and have taken them as wives for their sons. So the holy race has become polluted by these mixed marriages. To make matters worse, the officials and leaders are some of the worst offenders.”

In our modern culture, to see any kind of prohibition that would forbid a person from marrying another person who happens to be from a different race or culture seems inconceivably wrong. Our modern moral convictions view this as extraordinarily racist and unjust.

So what is going on here? Why would God prohibit mixed marriages for the nation of Israel? Why would God punish those who married someone of a different race? Isn’t that racist?

When looking at these passages in full context, it’s clear that the reason God commands His people not to intermarry with those from other nations, is NOT because they are different racially, but because they are different ideologically and theologically. In other words, God does indeed want his people to remain pure, but in their understanding of Him, their devotion to Him and their worship of Him, not in their genetic progeny.

If we read just one verse further in the Deuteronomy passage, this is made clear. He tells the Israelites NOT to intermarry with the people they are displacing and destroying because:

4They will lead your young people away from me to worship other gods. (Deuteronomy 7:4)

The Ezra passage expounds on this even further:

11Your servants the prophets warned us that the land we would possess was totally defiled by the detestable practices of the people living there. From one end to the other, the land is filled with corruption. 12You told us not to let our daughters marry their sons, and not to let our sons marry their daughters, and not to help those nations in any way. You promised that if we avoided these things, we would become a prosperous nation….for you, our God, have allowed some of us to survive as a remnant. 14But now we are again breaking your commands and intermarrying with people who do these detestable things. (Ezra 9:11-12, 13b-14, NLT)

The reason God told the Israelites NOT to intermarry with the people from the other nations is because those people did not share the same views about God. They worshiped other gods. They were not believers in Yahweh and they engaged in detestable practices that God abhors.

It is an undeniable truth that when two people marry, over time, they tend to compromise on their different views, whether it’s politically or religiously. People who are married begin to influence their partner in the ways that they think and in the things that they value. This is sometimes good but often it can be negative.

In this case, God is warning His people not to intermarry with those of other nations because in doing so, the result is that they would undoubtedly be led astray spiritually. Over time, their worldview would change and their religious practices would shift in order to accommodate their spouse.

This is why Paul, in 2 Corinthians 6:14 (ESV) says that we are not to be “unequally yoked with unbelievers.”

The admonition is not to avoid marrying a person of another race, but to avoid marrying a person who does not share the same views and devotion to God.

Reflection

What do you think it means when God says He wants to maintain the purity of His people? What does purity look like?

What do you think are some of the reasons why people might say interracial marriages are wrong?

If you are married, what are some examples of ways that you have influenced your spouse’s views and what are some ways your spouse has influenced your views?

What examples can you think of (from the Bible or your personal experience) that demonstrate the dangers in marrying someone who does not share your same spiritual views and values?

What examples can you think of from the Bible that might support the idea that God is not against interracial marriages?

 

Photo by Désirée Fawn on Unsplash

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A Tale of Two Sisters

Ezekiel 23

1This message came to me from the LORD: 2“Son of man, once there were two sisters who were daughters of the same mother. 3They became prostitutes in Egypt. Even as young girls, they allowed themselves to be fondled and caressed. 4The older girl was named Oholah, and her sister was Oholibah. I married them, and they bore me sons and daughters. I am speaking of Samaria and Jerusalem, for Oholah is Samaria and Oholibah is Jerusalem.

5“Then Oholah lusted after other lovers instead of me, and she gave her love to the Assyrians, her neighbors. 6They were all attractive young men, captains and commanders dressed in handsome blue, dashing about on their horses. 7And so she prostituted herself with the most desirable men of Assyria, worshiping their idols and defiling herself. 8For when she left Egypt, she did not leave her spirit of prostitution behind. She was still as lewd as in her youth, when the Egyptians satisfied their lusts with her and robbed her of her virginity. 9And so I handed her over to her Assyrian lovers, whom she desired so much. 10They stripped her and killed her and took away her children as their slaves. Her name was known to every woman in the land as a sinner who had received what she deserved.

11“Yet even though Oholibah saw what had happened to Oholah, her sister, she followed right in her footsteps. And she was even more depraved, abandoning herself to her lust and prostitution. 12She fawned over her Assyrian neighbors, those handsome young men on fine horses, those captains and commanders in handsome uniforms—all of them desirable. 13I saw the way she was going, defiling herself just like her older sister.

14“Then she carried her prostitution even further. She fell in love with pictures that were painted on a wall—pictures of Babylonian*[Or Chaldean.] military officers, outfitted in striking red uniforms. 15Handsome belts encircled their waists, and flowing turbans crowned their heads. They were dressed like chariot officers from the land of Babylonia.*[Or Chaldea; also in 23:16.] 16When she saw these paintings, she longed to give herself to them, so she sent messengers to Babylonia to invite them to come to her. 17So they came and committed adultery with her, defiling her in the bed of love. But later, she became disgusted with them and broke off their relationship.

18“So I became disgusted with Oholibah, just as I was with her sister, because she flaunted herself before them and gave herself to satisfy their lusts. 19But that didn’t bother her. She turned to even greater prostitution, remembering her youth when she was a prostitute in Egypt. 20She lusted after lovers whose attentions were gross and bestial. 21And so, Oholibah, you celebrated your former days as a young girl in Egypt, when you first allowed yourself to be fondled and caressed.  (Ezekiel 23: 1-21, NLT)

The Daily DAVEotional

The prophet Ezekiel is one of the major prophets of the Old Testament. He was exiled to Babylon along with other Jews living in the nation of Judah. His ministry was primarily to those living in Babylonian exile and his message was a reminder of the sins that the nation and people had committed that led to them being conquered by the Babylonians and taken into exiled captivity.

In this chapter, Ezekiel receives a message from the Lord in the form of a parable. Two sisters (from the same mother) both become prostitutes in Egypt and then later marry the same man (God, in the parable). We’re told clearly that the two sisters represent Samaria, the northern kingdom of Israel, and Judah, the southern kingdom. The parable serves as an illustration of the unfaithfulness of these two related kingdoms, which resulted in the conquering and captivity of its people.

There are a number of interesting things to note from this parable.

First of all, the relationship between God and His people (the separate kingdoms of Samaria and Judah) is likened to a marriage. This was true of His people in the Old Testament and it’s true of His people now. I wrote about God’s desire that we would essentially enter into a marriage covenant with Him here.

Secondly, the imagery of prostitution or adultery is often used to depict the unfaithfulness of God’s people to their covenant relationship with Him. The unfaithfulness of God’s people is often demonstrated through their worship of idols and false gods. This was a recurring problem amongst the Israelites and it became a constant theme in many Old Testament writings, some of which I’ve written about here and here.

The parable mentions early prostitution in Egypt, “allowing themselves to be fondled and caressed.” This is clearly a reference to Exodus 32, when Aaron, with the help of the people, made a calf of gold, which the people promptly began worshiping as God.

However, prostitution in this parable refers more to the two nations’ desires to align themselves politically with these foreign powers rather than rely on God alone for protection and provision. Oholah (Samaria) was enamored with Assyria and was eventually overrun and conquered by the very nation with whom they sought an alliance. Likewise, Oholibah (Judah) was enamored politically by both Assyria, by whom they avoided conquest, and later Babylon, who eventually conquered them and took many of their citizens into exile. It is many of these exiles who Ezekiel is addressing with his prophetic messages.

Third, Oholoh, which represents Samaria, is listed as the older sister. Why is that? If you don’t know anything about the history of Samaria and Judah, here are some relevant bullet points:

    • Israel was one unified kingdom through the reign of Solomon. But because Solomon was unfaithful to the Lord at the end of his life, the Lord, as a consequence, promised to divide his kingdom.
    • Rehoboam was Solomon’s son. He decided he would rule as an iron-fisted tyrant and that ticked off all of the northern tribes, who revolted and elected their own king. Rehoboam remained the king over the Southern kingdom, which included the tribes of Judah and Benjamin. All the other tribes became loyal to Jeroboam, who was anointed as the king of Israel (the northern kingdom).
    • The Northern kingdom became associated with Samaria when King Omri made Samaria the capital of the northern kingdom.

If royal succession were being used as a determining factor, Judah would be considered older, since Samaria represents a splintering or off-shoot of the royal dynasty.

However, in the parable, it appears that Oholah (Samaria) is considered the older sister since she was the first to be taken into captivity.

Fourth, Judah, who avoided captivity by the Assyrians only to later be conquered and exiled by the Babylonians, is considered in the parable as the greater offender, largely because she did not learn from the fate of her older sister (Samaria) when she was taken into captivity by the Assyrians.

The message of the Lord in this parable is that Judah saw what happened to Samaria and should have learned from her mistakes. Instead, Judah followed down the same path of destruction by committing the same sins of idolatry and political unfaithfulness that Samaria had committed.

I think there’s a relevant lesson here for us today. There’s a danger in life when people take the attitude “that can’t happen to me”, which seems to be the posture that Judah took when Samaria was being overrun by the Assyrians. But, as Judah soon found out, it can happen, especially if we forsake the Lord’s protection and provision to pursue the affection of others.

Reflection

What do you think unfaithfulness to the Lord looks like in our culture today?

What are the idols or potential idols in your life that might draw you away from worshiping God alone?

One of the messages of the parable is that unfaithfulness is not just worshiping idols or false gods. In the case of Samaria and Judah, it was also seeking protection and provision from others besides the Lord via political alliances instead of depending on the Lord alone. Who or what are you prone to seek for protection, provision and security instead of the Lord?

What are some practical ways you can ensure that you are less likely be unfaithful to the Lord?

 

Photo by Benjamin Grull on Unsplash

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A Recent “Weekend to Remember”

Last month, Jen and I attended a “Weekend to Remember” Getaway Conference sponsored by FamilyLife, which is a ministry of Cru. 

We’ve found this weekend conference to be a great way to reflect on and invest in our marriage. It really is one of the best resources our ministry offers. 

We’ve attended this conference a few times over our 30 years of marriage but it actually had been over 15 years since our last conference, so it seemed like a good time for a refresher. And being in LaJolla was not a bad selling point!

But we had a secondary reason for attending this particular conference. 

Of all the Weekend to Remember Conferences FamilyLife puts on each year, a select few are labeled as “Military Friendly”. What that means is that military couples who attend are given additional opportunities to connect and are provided with additional resources to help navigate the unique challenges that military families experience.

We were able to greet military couples when they arrived, give them a goodie bag and alert them to the lounge and a special breakout session just for them.

Families are extremely important to God. In the Old Testament, God is portrayed as a Father and the Nation of Israel are His people.

The New Testament continues the theme by showing that when people of any race or ethnicity put their faith in Jesus and His death, they are adopted into God’s family as His sons and daughters.

The family unit is an important building block culture. Study after study demonstrates that many of the problems we are experiencing in our culture – the rise in crime, exponential drug use, failing education system, etc. – find their roots in the breakdown of the traditional family. There is no doubt that healthy families result in healthier communities.

Keeping families together is hard enough these days. But military families experience additional challenges that civilian families don’t. From frequent moves to long-term deployments, military families have an added layer of complexity that must be navigated and considered. 

We had tons of FREE resources available for military families to help them navigate the specific pressures that come with military service.

Our goal at this conference was simply to be available to military couples and provide resources that might help them in their current situation.

Over 25 military couples attended the conference. We were able to greet couples when they checked in and then alert them to a special lounge we had prepared for their own use during the conference.

In addition, we had a special breakout session for military couples where we were able to highlight resources and opportunities Cru Military provides for Military families beyond the weekend getaway.

It was nice for us to experience a short getaway given all that we’ve experienced this Fall in our own family. It was also nice to be able to meet some military couples who were in attendance, hear their stories and provide encouragement and resources to help them lead their families well while serving our country. 

If you’ve never attended a Weekend to Remember Getaway, we highly recommend it. Even if you have done one before, it’s never a bad idea to invest in your marriage. 

Reach out to us if you’re interested and we would be glad to give you more information!

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The Recipe for “Salad Bar” Religion

2 Kings 17

24And the king of Assyria transported groups of people from Babylon, Cuthah, Avva, Hamath, and Sepharvaim and resettled them in the towns of Samaria, replacing the people of Israel. So the Assyrians took over Samaria and the other towns of Israel. 25But since these foreign settlers did not worship the LORD when they first arrived, the LORD sent lions among them to kill some of them.

26So a message was sent to the king of Assyria: “The people whom you have resettled in the towns of Israel do not know how to worship the God of the land. He has sent lions among them to destroy them because they have not worshiped him correctly.”

27The king of Assyria then commanded, “Send one of the exiled priests from Samaria back to Israel. Let him teach the new residents the religious customs of the God of the land.” 28So one of the priests who had been exiled from Samaria returned to Bethel and taught the new residents how to worship the LORD.

29But these various groups of foreigners also continued to worship their own gods. In town after town where they lived, they placed their idols at the pagan shrines that the people of Israel had built. 30Those from Babylon worshiped idols of their god Succoth-benoth. Those from Cuthah worshiped their god Nergal. And those from Hamath worshiped Ashima. 31The Avvites worshiped their gods Nibhaz and Tartak. And the people from Sepharvaim even burned their own children as sacrifices to Adrammelech and Anammelech.

32These new residents worshiped the LORD, but they appointed from among themselves priests to offer sacrifices at the pagan shrines. 33And though they worshiped the LORD, they continued to follow the religious customs of the nations from which they came. 34And this is still going on among them today. They follow their former practices instead of truly worshiping the LORD and obeying the laws, regulations, instructions, and commands he gave the descendants of Jacob, whose name he changed to Israel. 35For the LORD had made a covenant with the descendants of Jacob and commanded them: “Do not worship any other gods or bow before them or serve them or offer sacrifices to them. 36Worship only the LORD, who brought you out of Egypt with such mighty miracles and power. You must worship him and bow before him; offer sacrifices to him alone. 37Be careful to obey all the laws, regulations, instructions, and commands that he wrote for you. You must not worship any other gods. 38Do not forget the covenant I made with you, and do not worship other gods. 39You must worship only the LORD your God. He is the one who will rescue you from all your enemies.”

40But the people would not listen and continued to follow their old ways. 41So while these new residents worshiped the LORD, they also worshiped their idols. And to this day their descendants do the same. (2 Kings 17:24-41, NLT)

The Daily DAVEotional

About 700 years before Christ, the Assyrians, who were the dominant world power at the time, invaded and conquered Israel, the northern kingdom.

A common template for a conquering army was exporting the defeated nation’s people back to the nation of the invading army where they would be assimilated and/or acculturated into the dominant culture.

At the same time, it was common for the conquering power to bring its own citizens in to occupy the conquered land, thus expanding their cultural reach even further.

This is what’s happening in 2 Kings 17. The Assyrian army has conquered Israel and shipped off most of its citizens to the motherland. In exchange, people from various parts of the Assyrian empire are brought into Samaria in order to repopulate the area with those who are already assimilated into the Assyrian way of life.

But there’s a problem. These new people don’t worship God. They have their own regional deities whom they worship. So the Lord sends in lions to kill some of the inhabitants.

When the king learns that some of his selected subjects are being taken down by lions in his newly acquired province, he’s told that the reason is because the people don’t understand how to worship the local deity (God) and so they are being punished by lions that have been sent to kill them.

The king decides to send an exiled priest back to Israel to instruct the new inhabitants in how to worship the Lord, thus hoping to appease the local deity and quell the lion attacks.

This exiled priest does what he’s asked to do. He instructs the new inhabitants in the proper ways to worship the Lord.

The new inhabitants are quick to comply. After all, who wants to get killed by a lion?

The problem is that even though these new inhabitants begin worshiping the Lord according to the pattern they are taught by this exiled priest, they never give up worshiping their previous deities. They worship the Lord but neglect to forsake their former gods.

It occurred to me that we do the same thing today. We may not have regional deities we’re worshiping in addition to God as these people in 2 Kings 17 did, but we may have things besides Jesus that seduce our affections and take priority in our lives.

The truth is that not much has changed in the 2700+ years since this was written. Many people come to church and add Christianity to their philosophical library but they neglect to forsake their former idols and previous ways of life.

As a result, many people end up with what I call a “salad bar” approach to their religious views. I call it a salad bar because if you’ve ever been to a place like Souplantation or a similar buffet-line style eatery, it is a great illustration for how people develop their religious views.

In a salad bar or any kind of buffet line, you grab your plate and you walk down the food line and you put food on your plate that you like and you pass over the foods you don’t like. You pick and choose the things you enjoy while rejecting the things you don’t prefer.

When you reach the end of the buffet line, you pay the cashier and you walk to an open table holding a plate that has all of the delicious items and tantalizing desserts you prefer without any of the foods you dislike.

This isn’t true Christianity. It’s more like what we see here in 2 Kings 17. Just because a person says they believe in Christ and they worship Jesus doesn’t mean they have forsaken all of their previous idols and it doesn’t mean that they have abandoned all of their previous wordly philosophies and dogmas.

The modern word for this amalgamation of religious ideologies and preferential philosophies into a personalized belief system is “syncretism”.

The true Christ-follower recognizes that Jesus is calling us into a relationship that is best illustrated as a marital covenant. I wrote about that here.

As is true of any marriage relationship, there is an underlying expectation that both parties will be faithful and true to their one and only partner.

When we add Jesus as just another side dish on our plate of religious philosophies, we have not really made a true commitment to Jesus because saying “yes” to Jesus requires us to first and foremost, forsake all others.

 

Did you enjoy this post? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Feel free to like, leave a comment below, and share it with your friends or on social media if you found it helpful or interesting. Your support keeps the conversation going!

 

Reflection

What were the idols or gods in your life that you worshiped or gave priority before you came to Christ?

What are the things that tend to compete for you affections as you seek to make Christ Lord in your life?

What are the views or teachings of Christianity that you have a hard time believing – those beliefs that if they were in a salad bar, you’d prefer to pass over instead of putting them on your plate?

Also, what are some views and thoughts from the culture or your previous way of life that you’ve had a hard time discarding from your plate, even though they may stand in contrast to clear biblical teachings?

What are some things you can do to avoid a “salad bar” theology?

 

Photo by Dan Gold on Unsplash

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Wise Advice Concerning Sex!

Proverbs 5

1My son, pay attention to my wisdom; listen carefully to my wise counsel. 2Then you will learn to be discreet and will store up knowledge.

3The lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil. 4But the result is as bitter as poison, sharp as a double-edged sword. 5Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave. 6For she does not care about the path to life. She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn’t even realize where it leads.

7So now, my sons, listen to me. Never stray from what I am about to say: 8Run from her! Don’t go near the door of her house! 9If you do, you will lose your honor and hand over to merciless people everything you have achieved in life. 10Strangers will obtain your wealth, and someone else will enjoy the fruit of your labor. 11Afterward you will groan in anguish when disease consumes your body, 12and you will say, “How I hated discipline! If only I had not demanded my own way! 13Oh, why didn’t I listen to my teachers? Why didn’t I pay attention to those who gave me instruction? 14I have come to the brink of utter ruin, and now I must face public disgrace.”

15Drink water from your own well—share your love only with your wife. 16Why spill the water of your springs in public, having sex with just anyone? 17You should reserve it for yourselves. Don’t share it with strangers.

18Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19She is a loving doe, a graceful deer. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love. 20Why be captivated, my son, with an immoral woman, or embrace the breasts of an adulterous woman?

21For the LORD sees clearly what a man does, examining every path he takes. 22An evil man is held captive by his own sins; they are ropes that catch and hold him. 23He will die for lack of self-control; he will be lost because of his incredible folly. (Proverbs 5:1-23, NLT)

The Daily DAVEotional

Reading through the Proverbs is often like reading the fortune from a fortune cookie – they are typically short statements packed with wise advice.

But in Proverbs 5, Solomon doesn’t just give us a few pithy statements related to his views on sex; instead, he devotes a whole chapter to warning his son about the dangers of sexual immorality.

Solomon starts out by acknowledging how enticing sexual sin is. In verse 3, he says that sexual sin always looks enticing and appealing IN THE MOMENT. But countless people realize the error of their decision immediately after satisfying their sexual desires.

In verses 7 and 8, Solomon again urges his son to “listen carefully”. This must be really important! Sexual sin is so enticing that Solomon’s advice is to RUN. In other words, don’t hang around! Lingering is almost always disastrous as the will is slowly broken down as we give our minds an opportunity to rationalize our projected sin.

The results of not heeding this advice are widespread and far-reaching. Relationships are ruined and financial positions are compromised. I realize that this is not a popular belief in our current culture, but the reality is that nothing good comes from sleeping around.

Fifty years ago, our culture experienced a sexual revolution in which traditional views and values of sex were challenged and cast aside in favor of a more “free” expression of sex. This radical new perspective gave people the freedom to enjoy sex outside of the traditional marriage relationship without experiencing the stigma that was normally associated with casual sex outside of marriage.

Now, more than fifty years after this counter-culture revolution dramatically changed the moral landscape of America, are we better off? Did the sexual revolution deliver on its promise of a better society by casting off the chains that were depriving people of unleashing their sexual repression and fulfilling their every sexual desire?

It’s not the intent of this post to give a detailed analysis of the results of the sexual revolution but I would say that even casual observations about the state of our culture now reveal that the answer to the question above is “NO!”

What have been the results of being released from our so-called sexual prison?

To start with, abortion became legal as a means of limiting the responsibility of unwanted pregnancies. Over 62 million babies have been aborted since it was legalized. It’s also no surprise that the spread of sexually transmitted diseases rose and has remained high.

Predictably, the number of babies born out of wedlock has dramatically increased, leading to a higher percentage of single-parent families. Single-parent families often face greater challenges financially, which in turn often results in kids having less developmental resources and educational opportunities.

Divorce rates went up and have stayed up, contributing to the breakdown of the nuclear family. The breakdown of the family unit, research has shown, is a major factor that has contributed to many of our society’s greatest ills – including crime, drugs, mental health issues, abuse, homelessness, and pornography, just to name a few.

Solomon urges his listeners to maintain sexual purity by “drinking water from your own well”, which is another way of saying that we should keep our sexual relationships within the context of marriage.

There is no doubt that sex is enjoyable, but Solomon asks the reader why they would have sex with just anyone, which, in his view doesn’t make us free, but actually cheapens the experience. His advice is to cherish sex and enjoy it in the context of your marriage partner, which is exactly how God intended it.

Reflection

In what ways have you or your extended family been negatively impacted by the changing moral values of the sexual revolution?

Chances are that you or someone you know has been impacted by divorce. What are some of the negative effects of divorce on kids and families? 

Who are some of your role models in terms of long-standing marital relationships? What do you think are some of the benefits of staying married and being faithful to one spouse?

In what ways can you relate to Solomon’s advice to RUN when confronted with an opportunity to engage in sexual sin?

 

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What Does it Look Like to Follow Jesus?

Luke 9

57As they were walking along someone said to Jesus, “I will follow you no matter where you go.”

58But Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens to live in, and birds have nests, but I, the Son of Man, have no home of my own, not even a place to lay my head.”

59He said to another person, “Come, be my disciple.”

The man agreed, but he said, “Lord, first let me return home and bury my father.”

60Jesus replied, “Let those who are spiritually dead care for their own dead. Your duty is to go and preach the coming of the Kingdom of God.”

61Another said, “Yes, Lord, I will follow you, but first let me say good-bye to my family.”

62But Jesus told him, “Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:57-62, NLT)

The Daily DAVEotional

At the end of Luke chapter 9, someone tells Jesus he will follow Him wherever He goes. Jesus then lays out some requirements for truly following Him.

The first thing he says, in verse 58, is that “Foxes have dens to live in, and birds have nests, but I, the Son of Man, have no home of my own, not even a place to lay my head.”

What’s he saying? Jesus is saying that following Him may be uncomfortable and will require sacrifice. Are you willing to give up a life of comfort and ease in order to follow me?

Another person responded to Jesus’s call to discipleship by saying he wanted to first go home and bury his father. Jesus responds, in verse 60, saying “Let those who are spiritually dead care for their own dead. Your duty is to go and preach the coming of the Kingdom of God.”

Is Jesus against family responsibilities?

No. It’s unlikely the person’s father was already dead for if he was, the man would not likely have been there in the first place to interact with Jesus. What the man was really saying is that he would follow Jesus at a later date, when life circumstances are different. Jesus responds by saying that following Him means making Him a priority over everything else, including family.

Finally, a third person says he will follow Jesus but only after saying goodbye to his family.

Jesus responds by saying, “Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.”

Again, Jesus is not against families. He’s merely pointing out that following Him means enduring to the end.

If you think about it, following Jesus is like a marriage.

What does this have to do with marriage?

Well, if you’ve ever been to a wedding ceremony, it’s traditional for the officiant to lead the bride and groom in an exchange of vows. Usually, the official will ask each participant if they will commit themselves to the other person and stay committed through a variety of life’s conditions, including:

    • For richer for poorer (sacrifice)
    • In sickness and in health (priority)
    • ’til death do us part (endurance)

Notice that these conditions are the same conditions that Jesus set forth as necessary to be His follower. If you want to follow Jesus, it will take sacrifice; He must be your priority and you must endure to the end.

If you think about it, Jesus is asking us to marry Him. Not literally, of course. But to be a follower of Jesus carries that same level of commitment, dedication and intentionality.

Reflection

What do you think about the idea that when Jesus invites you to follow Him, it’s like He’s asking you to marry Him?

Which of the three conditions Jesus lays out for following Him do you struggle with the most?

What would keep you from committing yourself to Jesus in the way He invites His true followers?

 

Photo by Sandy Millar on Unsplash