Why Don’t Christians Pray?

In the classic Christmas movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life”, George Bailey, played by Jimmy Stewart, is portrayed as a moral, selfless family man and a pillar of the community, who alone stands against the greedy and ruthless town banker, Henry Potter, a selfish opportunist who seeks to control the town of Bedford Falls through his wealth and financial might.

Through no fault of his own, George finds himself in a desperate financial situation. Though he’s portrayed as an upright man of moral character, he’s not a particularly religious person.

Yet, in a moment of absolute despair, George Bailey turns to God and utters this prayer: “Dear God…dear Father in heaven…I’m not a praying man but if you’re up there and you can hear me, show me the way. I’m at the end of my rope. Show me the way God.”

For many, this is exactly how they tend to think of prayer – as a desperate cry for help when all personal efforts have failed and every other conceivable avenue for addressing an issue has been exhausted. It’s a last-ditch effort to change an undesired situation by appealing to “the man upstairs”.

This view of prayer is rooted in a fundamental misconception and misunderstanding of the nature of God. This view sees God as all-powerful but distant. The God of “hail-Mary” prayers is not intimate and close; He’s impersonal and far away, too busy to be concerned with insignificant people and inconsequential matters.

But Christianity doesn’t view God as distant and impersonal. In fact, one of the major differences between Christianity and all other religions and philosophies is the idea that God is personal and He wants you to KNOW Him.

As John 1:14 states:

“And the Word became flesh and DWELT among us.”

And yet, even though Christianity sees God as intimate and personal, many Christians don’t pray regularly.

Renowned British Preacher Leonard Ravenhill penned it this way:

“The church has many organizers, but few agonizers;
many who pay, but few who pray;
many resters, but few wrestlers;
many who are enterprising, but few who are interceding.
People who are not praying and praying.
The secret of praying is praying in secret.
A worldly Christian will stop praying and a praying Christian will stop worldliness.
Tithes may build a church, but tears will give it life.
That is the difference between the modern church and the early church.
In the matter of effective praying, never have so many left so much to so few.”

As Christians, we recognize that prayer is an essential part of the Christian life; we know it’s “important”, yet we don’t pray. Why is that?

One reason, undoubtedly, is that we’re influenced by our culture to be self-reliant and self-sufficient, which probably explains why people turn to God only when they’re unable to handle their issues and problems on their own.

However, I think another reason why Christians don’t pray is that we don’t understand the many benefits of prayer.

What exactly are the benefits of prayer?

 Prayer is Our Primary Means of Developing Intimacy with God.

First of all, prayer is the primary means by which we maintain our intimacy with God. James 4:8 says,

“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”

How, exactly, do we draw near to God? Through prayer. Prayer is an extremely personal exercise. When you pray, you’re communicating with the sovereign God of the Universe, who desires to spend time with you.

Prayer enables you to build intimacy with Jesus so that

“Christ may dwell in your heart through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:17-19)

Prayer is also the chief means by which we maintain our fellowship with God. For those times when we’ve done something we know isn’t right, or when we’ve moved away from that intimate relationship with God, prayer is how we get back on track. 1 John 1:9 says,

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Prayer enables us to confess our sin and experience God’s forgiveness, resulting in continued fellowship with God.

Prayer Helps Us Overcome Temptation

A second benefit of prayer is that it helps us overcome temptation. Just before Jesus was arrested, he told his disciples in Mark 14 that they would all fall away because of Him. Peter’s response is probably one that I would be inclined to give. He emphatically says, “I won’t fall away. Even if everyone else abandons you, I won’t.”

Later, Jesus is in the Garden of Gethsemane praying. His disciples are all with Him, including Peter. They’re supposed to be keeping watch, but instead, they’re sleeping. In vs. 38 Jesus says:

“Keep watching and praying, that you may not come into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Jesus understood the dichotomy that exists between the sinful nature and the spiritual nature. When we pray, our focus is on God, whose power enables us to overcome sin. The disciples didn’t understand this. So instead of praying that they might not come into temptation and fall away, they slept. As a result of Christ’s arrest. v. 50 says:

“And they all left Him and fled.”

Prayer helps us overcome temptation. Even as you’re facing a temptation, getting your eyes off the temptation long enough to talk to God, can bring His help right when you need it.

Prayer Helps Us Determine God’s Will

A third benefit of prayer is that it helps us determine God’s will. In Luke chapter 6, Jesus spends all night praying to God about who He should choose to be His disciples. The next day, Jesus chose 12 men to be with Him. Jesus understood the benefit of prayer in helping to determine God’s will.

When you pray to God, you’re consulting someone who knows everything there is to know about your situation. Not only that, but He’s in complete control of your situation. Doesn’t it make sense to consult Him when you make decisions in your life?

When I was growing up, my dad was a private pilot, licensed to fly small aircraft, but only in visual flying conditions. On a cross country trip to visit some relatives in another state, we were following a two-lane highway below. From my view high above I could see the many cars and trucks traveling along the road below. In some cases, I noticed cars that were impeded by larger, slower-moving trucks in front of them. It occurred to me that if the drivers of these cars could see things from my perspective, it would be much easier for them to know when and where it would be safe to enter the lane of on-coming traffic to pass the trucks that were blocking their way.

God, of course, has a perspective that is even more expansive than my view was. He sees the complete picture of any situation we may be facing. His perfect knowledge is exactly what we need to guide our life. As we pray to God, and as we learn to listen to Him, we’ll find the direction we seek.

Prayer Allows Us to Intercede for Others

Still another benefit of prayer is that it allows us to intercede for others. Did you know that through prayer, we have the opportunity to impact the lives of others?

Jesus, in John 17, prayed for his disciples. Paul, likewise, in Ephesians 1:15-19 and Colossians 1:9-12 prayed for the young believers in those fledgling churches. We too can pray for others, and our prayers can have a powerful effect.

A story from World Christian Digest illustrates this point. Two missionaries in Malaysia had to go to the nearest town across some pretty rough country to collect some money which had come through for them at the bank there. It was a considerable distance away so they set off on foot early in the morning, hoping to return the same day.

They arrived at the town, collected the money and then set off again on their return trek, only to find that they were too tired and too far away to reach their station that night. So they set up camp on a hillside and, committing themselves to God, they fell asleep.

When morning came, they were surprised that they hadn’t been disturbed by bandits or wild animals. They went on their way without incident and arrived safely at their mission station later that day.

A few weeks later, a man came into the hospital for treatment. He stared at the missionary who attended him and said, “I’ve seen you before.”

“I don’t think we’ve met,” the missionary replied.

“No, I’m sure we have,” said the man. “You were camping on the hillside at such and such a place a few weeks back.”

“That’s right,” said the missionary. “How did you know? We didn’t see anyone.”

“I followed you with some others from the town. We had seen you in the bank and we knew you had money on you. We waited until dark to sneak up on you. We were intending to rob you, but we didn’t attack because of the soldiers.”

“Soldiers?” The missionary laughed. “There were no soldiers with us, my friend.”

The bandit was adamant. “There were – we counted them. There were sixteen of them, and they had swords too.”

The missionary humored the man and passed it off as a hallucination.

Sometime later, when he came home on furlough to England, the missionary was sharing the incident at a gathering in his home town. After the meeting, a man came up to him.

“What was the date that you camped on the hillside?”

Looking at his journal, the missionary said, “It was on such and such a night.”

The questioner also looked at his journal. “That night,” he said, “we had our weekly prayer meeting. Your name was brought forward by someone for prayer and,” he paused, “there were sixteen of us at the meeting.” [1]

Just like the 16 people who prayed for the missionaries, we too, through prayer, can enter into the spiritual battle and intercede on the behalf of others.

So why don’t Christians pray?

One reason is that we don’t see the many benefits of prayer. But there’s another reason why Christians often don’t pray.

The Power of Prayer

For many Christians, prayer is simply a mindless, rote activity. Many Christians don’t really believe that there is power in prayer.

It’s easy for us to be like the man who got lost deep in the woods while hiking alone. Later, in describing the experience, he shared about how frightened he was and how he had prayed to God to rescue him. “Did God answer your prayer?” someone asked. “Oh, no!” he replied. “Before God had a chance, a guide came along and showed me the path.” [2]

There’s an old story about some Christians who were upset that a tavern was being built in their small village. Up until then, the town had been dry. These concerned believers began an all-night prayer meeting, asking God to intervene.

As it happened, not long after, lightning struck the tavern building, and it burned to the ground. The owner brought a lawsuit against the church, claiming they were responsible. The Christians hired a lawyer, claiming that they weren’t responsible. The judge, in reviewing the case said, “No matter how this case comes out, one thing is clear. The tavern owner believes in prayer and the Christians do not.” [3]

Many of us don’t really believe that prayer makes a difference. Often, when God does meet our needs, we don’t attribute it to prayer, but instead to mere coincidence and circumstance.

The fact is, of course, that God is capable of handling any problem we could bring him. Creating planets isn’t much of a problem for him. Nothing is too difficult for God to handle – but He’s waiting for us to recognize his power and ask for his help. God DOES answer prayer.

Howard Hendricks, the long-time professor of theology at Dallas Theological Seminary, shares an amazing story of how God answered prayer. Shortly after Dallas Seminary was founded in 1924, it came to the point of bankruptcy. All the creditors were going to foreclose at noon on a certain day. That morning, the founders of the school met in the president’s office to pray that God would provide. One of the men in that prayer meeting was Harry Ironside. When it was his turn to pray, Dr. Ironside prayed in his characteristically refreshing manner: “Lord, we know that the cattle on a thousand hills are yours. Please sell some of them and send us the money.”

While they were still praying, a tall Texan came into the business office and said, “I just sold two carloads of cattle in Fort Worth. I’ve been trying to make a business deal go through and it won’t work, and I sense that God is compelling me to give this money to the Seminary. I don’t know if you need it or not, but here’s the check.”

A secretary took the check and, knowing something of the financial seriousness of the hour, went to the door of the prayer meeting and timidly tapped. When she finally got a response, Dr. Lewis Chafer took the check out of her hand; it was for the exact amount of the debt. When he looked at the signature, he recognized the name of the cattle rancher. Turning to Dr. Ironside, he said, “Harry, God sold the cattle!” [4]

God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. The same God who parted the Red Sea, the same God who caused the sun to stand still while Joshua and the Israelites routed their enemies, the same God who fed the 5000; this same God is able to handle all of your problems today. He is completely able. We simply need to go to Him in prayer.

Here are a few closing suggestions. Put prayer time into your schedule or you’ll never do it. Start small, but be consistent. Keep a journal of answered prayer. Your faith will increase as you see God answer your prayers, and as a result, you’ll be motivated to pray more.


[1] Naismith, Archibald. 2400 Outlines, Notes, Quotes and Anecdotes for Sermons. vol. 2 – Notes, Quotes and Anecdotes, Baker Book House, 1991. p. 182.

[2] Illustrations for Biblical Preaching. Edited by Michael P. Green, Baker Book House, 1991. p. 282.

[3] Illustrations for Biblical Preaching. Edited by Michael P. Green, Baker Book House, 1991. p. 275.

[4] Hendricks, Howard. “Selling Cattle.” Bible.Org, 20 Jul. 2009, bible.org/illustration/selling-cattle. Accessed 30 Aug. 2025 – (Dr. Howard Hendricks, Stories of the Heart, compiled by Alice Gray, Portland, Multnomah Press, 1996, p. 272)

 

Photo: Screenshot by Dave Lowe from the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life”

The Time God the Father Denied Jesus His Request

Mark 14

32And they came to an olive grove called Gethsemane, and Jesus said, “Sit here while I go and pray.” 33He took Peter, James, and John with him, and he began to be filled with horror and deep distress. 34He told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and watch with me.”

35He went on a little farther and fell face down on the ground. He prayed that, if it were possible, the awful hour awaiting him might pass him by. 36“Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will, not mine.”

37Then he returned and found the disciples asleep. “Simon!” he said to Peter. “Are you asleep? Couldn’t you stay awake and watch with me even one hour? 38Keep alert and pray. Otherwise temptation will overpower you. For though the spirit is willing enough, the body is weak.”

39Then Jesus left them again and prayed, repeating his pleadings. 40Again he returned to them and found them sleeping, for they just couldn’t keep their eyes open. And they didn’t know what to say.

41When he returned to them the third time, he said, “Still sleeping? Still resting?* Enough! The time has come. I, the Son of Man, am betrayed into the hands of sinners. 42Up, let’s be going. See, my betrayer is here!” (Mark 14:32-42, NLT)


The Daily DAVEotional

A few years ago I was counseling with a student who was having major doubts about God. Not only was this young man from a strong Christian home, but he was a missionary kid, so his family’s commitment to church and to ministry was greater than most. Given his background and family, it was a bit surprising to hear that he was doubting whether God actually existed.

As I probed further, asking questions to determine the source of his doubt, I learned that the seeds were planted way back in high school when he was part of an overseas youth group.

The group was planning to take a missions trip to a neighboring country during a scheduled school break but the trip ended up being canceled due to civil unrest in the other country.

The leaders and the youth were all aware of the dangers and they knew the possibility existed that their trip would not be allowed by the government because of political tensions. So the whole group began praying, EARNESTLY, that God would allow the trip to happen. They prayed that He would work out the circumstances and arrange events so that their small group would be able to take their trip and complete their planned ministry events.

When the event didn’t happen, this student began to question whether God existed. It didn’t make sense to him why God would not allow the trip. After all, wasn’t God concerned about these people who did not know Him? Wouldn’t He WANT them to take the gospel to those who have never heard? We’ve been commanded to GO, and they were planning and preparing to follow God’s command, so it only made sense to them that God would miraculously orchestrate events to make it happen.

But He didn’t. So this student made the conclusion that because God didn’t act in a way that made sense to him, then perhaps God doesn’t exist.

Unfortunately, this line of reasoning is more common than we might think and it underscores a major misunderstanding of the purpose of prayer.

In Mark 14, after the Passover meal but before Jesus is arrested, He goes to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray. Jesus is in distress and His soul is in anguish as He thinks about what is about to transpire. Verse 35 says that,

“He prayed that, if it were possible, the awful hour awaiting him might pass him by.”

In the very next verse, Jesus tells the Father that He knows that “everything is possible with you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me.”

Jesus goes back to the disciples, only to find them sleeping. Verse 39 says that He went back and repeated His pleadings with the Father. Jesus repeats the cycle a 3rd time, each time finding the disciples sleeping before returning and praying and pleading with God the Father regarding His impending suffering.

Jesus is clearly troubled. He said, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death.” Jesus clearly pleads for a way to avoid this suffering and He appeals to the Father’s ability to do the impossible. Jesus KNOWS that God can do anything, yet Jesus’ request, is not fulfilled. We know how the story ends and Jesus does not escape the suffering that was so distressing to Him.

So why didn’t the Father honor Jesus’ request? Why does Jesus not get saved from His suffering?

The key to this whole passage is in the words that follow Jesus’ request. Jesus does ask for the suffering to pass Him by, but He follows that up with the words “Yet I want your will, not mine.”

Jesus, in His humanity, was looking for a way to escape what He was about to endure. But in His divinity, He humbly submits to the will of the Father.

The point of prayer is not to get what we want. God is not a genie who is bound to grant our wishes and requests. The purpose of prayer then is for us to align ourselves with God’s will, just as Jesus demonstrates. Sometimes this is difficult because we may not be entirely sure what God’s will is in some situations. But this just provides us with a greater opportunity to trust God for the outcome.

My student friend thought he understood God. He determined that God should act in a certain way in a certain situation. He (and others) even prayed diligently that God would respond in the way that made sense to them. When He didn’t, instead of determining that God must have other plans, or God is bigger than we are and we cannot see and understand all the details as He can, this student made the determination that God must not exist.

I want to be clear that I think it’s ok to ask God to respond to our needs and our requests. There was nothing wrong with the students praying earnestly that God would arrange circumstances so that their trip would happen. The error, at least for my student friend, was in assuming that God was obligated to act in the way he desired. He is not. These students, or at least this one student, failed to understand that while God invites me to be honest and to share my needs and preferences with Him, He is not required to give me what I want. Instead, He invites each of us to trust Him and to align ourselves with His purposes and His plans.

Reflection

When have you viewed prayer as an activity in which you try to convince God to give you what you want?

What do you think is the root reason why people approach prayer as if God is a genie who just emerged from a lamp, or as if He’s a gentlemanly Santa Claus, who desires to make us happy by giving us our most desired gift?

How does this passage where Jesus prays to the Father give you insight and instruction on how we should be approaching and thinking about prayer?

What are some other passages and Scriptures that inform your understanding of prayer and your understanding of the nature of God?

 

Photo by Arina Krasnikova from Pexels

Under the Influence

Ephesians 5

15So be careful how you live, not as fools but as those who are wise. 16Make the most of every opportunity for doing good in these evil days. 17Don’t act thoughtlessly, but try to understand what the Lord wants you to do. 18Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, let the Holy Spirit fill and control you. 19Then you will sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, making music to the Lord in your hearts. 20And you will always give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. (Ephesians 5:15-20, NLT)


The Daily DAVEotional

In this section of Ephesians Paul is summarizing what He’s shared earlier in chapter 5 where he has given a number of examples and admonitions for what it means to follow God.

The summary of all the guidelines is to live wisely instead of foolishly.

What does it mean to live wisely and what does it look like to live foolishly?

Examples of wisdom and foolishness are replete throughout the Bible. The book of Proverbs contains a wealth of knowledge contrasting wisdom from foolishness. Additionally, Paul gives many exhortations and commands in his many New Testament letters, including what he’s shared earlier in chapter 5.

However, in this short segment, Paul summarizes wise and foolish living with 3 ideas:

First, people who live wisely make the most of their time. They don’t waste their time, but use their time for doing good.

Secondly, the wise person doesn’t act thoughtlessly but considers what the Lord’s will is. The implication here is that the wise person KNOWS the Lord and His word. Knowing God’s word is vital to understanding His will because it is the primary means by which we understand God’s character and His purposes.

Third, the wise person doesn’t get drunk but instead is filled with the Holy Spirit.

I think it’s interesting that Paul compares and contrasts being filled with the Spirit with being drunk. Why does he do this? How are these two things similar and how are they different?

Most states have strict laws about driving while drunk but if you get pulled over and charged, the official term is often “DUI”, which stands for driving under the influence.

When we drink too much, we are under the influence of alcohol and it affects us mentally, physically and emotionally. In short, we lose control of ourselves and often do things and act in ways that are totally out of character.

In the same way, to be filled with the Spirit is to be under the Spirit’s control. It means that I allow God’s Spirit to lead me and influence my decisions and my actions.

According to verse 18, the end result of being drunk is that it ruins our lives. Some translations say that being drunk leads to “dissipation”, which means “wasteful living.” The idea is that really nothing good comes from being drunk. It’s a waste of time and energy that leads to nothing good or productive.

The key question is: who is in control of my life? Is it me? If I’m in control, making my own decisions and living for myself, then I’m living foolishly and I’m apt to do foolish things, just as someone who is drunk.

However, if God’s Spirit is in control, then I’m living wisely, following His lead, doing good instead of evil and as a result, my life has purpose and direction.

Another way of looking at this is to ask the question: what influences you? We are all influenced by something. Whatever is influencing you is ultimately controlling you. Paul’s admonition is that the believer should be under the influence of the Holy Spirit. Being under the influence of anything else is foolish.

Reflection

How are you using your time? In what ways does your schedule reflect God’s priorities? Are there things in your schedule that are time wasters? 

What are some examples that come to mind that demonstrate how drunkenness can lead to ruined lives or wasteful living?

Paul contrasts being drunk with being filled with the Spirit. How can a person be controlled by God’s Spirit? What steps can one take to be under the influence of God’s Spirit?

If you were to create your own list of foolish living versus wise living, what items would be on each list? What is the source of items for each of your lists?

How can you know what God’s will is? What steps and actions can you take to understand God’s will and ensure that you’re following God’s will?

 

Photo by Vinicius “amnx” Amano on Unsplash