Category: Personal

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A 16 Year Old Question Finally Answered

December marked the 16th anniversary of our adoption of Jacob and Joshua. I remember the Family court judge expressing her appreciation to be a part of a story that had a positive outcome, which I gathered was not the norm for her court.

Jacob (held by Jen) and Joshua (held by Dave) are officially adopted in December 2001.

From the very beginning, Jacob and Joshua have looked alike. In fact, when we were about to take them from the hospital home that they had experienced their first 3 weeks of life, the nurses were so concerned that we might not know who was whom that they tied a little tag on the toe of each one so we wouldn’t get them mixed up.

Despite the fact that they looked so similar at birth, we were informed that they were fraternal twins and not identical. Naturally, we assumed that over time, they would begin to look as different as any non-twin siblings might.

That has not been the case. Most of their sports coaches over the years have not been able to tell them apart, nor have many of their teachers. While some of their closer friends have learned to identify them, many of their Cross Country teammates refer to them simply as “LoweBros”. And as crazy as this sounds, Jacob and Joshua to this day will sometimes look at a recent photo of both of them (like their most recent Cross Country team photo for example) and mistake their twin for themselves!

The question that we often get is: are they identical? Our answer has always been an uncertain, “well, we were told they were fraternal but we think they might be identical but we can’t really know for sure unless we get a DNA test.”

Last Fall, Jen saw a Black Friday deal for a heritage test sponsored by 23andme.com, a company that specializes in creating ancestry profiles based on a person’s DNA sample. Jen purchased kits for our entire family and after sending in our samples, we waited to see what the reports might reveal.

After a couple of weeks, the reports came back, and our long-time suspicions have been confirmed…Jacob and Joshua share 100% of their DNA, which means that they are identical twins!

Even though they’re identical, they’re still unique, with their own personalities, interests, strengths and weaknesses. This is what amazes me about God. Literally, billions of people have walked this earth and no two of them have ever been exactly alike. Each person has their own story.

Jacob left and Joshua take a photo before getting their hair cut in preparation to attend Service Academy Night.

As I think about our job of reaching this Millennial generation and helping them to thrive spiritually and live missionally, the task can seem overwhelming. There is so much we’re trying to figure out and learn. There’s so much we don’t know.

I take comfort in the idea that we don’t have to know everything to move forward. We simply treat each person as the unique individual they are. We learn their stories and we walk along-side them and help them, as much as we can, to experience Jesus in their lives.

We are grateful for your role in our life journey. Thanks for walking alongside us through the ups and downs and uncertainties of life. We are grateful for your friendship and partnership!

Click the link to see: Twins Through the Years

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Dealing With Disappointment

Life isn’t fair.

Things don’t always go the way you want.

You can’t control everything.

In the grand scheme of life, this is just a momentary setback.

We’ve all heard statements like these. But try helping a disappointed 16 year old to understand and embrace these truths.

Life can be a cruel teacher at times.

In the last 3 months, we’ve experienced a number of unexpected life events.

In July, while our family was in Colorado, I received a call to tell me that my grandmother had passed away. She was 96 so it was not completely surprising. Still, you’re never quite prepared for the news that your last living grandparent has passed away.

In August, I received the news that my aunt, the last living sibling of my grandfather, had passed away.

And just two weeks ago, I received the news that my uncle, who was in his early 70’s had died unexpectedly.

Jacob (left) and Joshua (middle) running with their team in Mammoth. Joshua’s injury occurred some time during this training run to Rainbow Falls. Check out the video of this trail below, or at: https://youtu.be/T1czVLdEyKA

The hardest issue though that we’ve been dealing with these last two months centers around our son Joshua, who has been dealing with a foot injury.

As a parent, it’s so hard to see your kids struggle and deal with setbacks and disappointment. Our tendency is to want to fix things and make things better and to shield them from hurt. But that’s not always possible and it’s not always advisable either.

In early August, Jacob and Joshua headed up to Mammoth with the rest of the varsity Cross Country team for a week of training at altitude. I (Dave) tagged along as a parent volunteer.

It was a great week of bonding and conditioning. Their team is really strong this year and is highly ranked, both in the county and even in the state. Expectations are high and the anticipation for this season has been palpable.

Towards the end of the week, Joshua started experiencing pain on the top his right foot. He was immediately shut down from running until we could get it checked out.

An MRI revealed a stress reaction in the 2nd long bone of his right foot.

A stress reaction is basically a pre-cursor to a stress fracture, and though it sounds less severe, the recovery time is the same.

For the last 7 weeks Joshua has been doing nothing but pool workouts, by himself, isolated from the rest of the team.

Twice, he’s tried to start running again, only to experience a setback with new pain in his foot.

There have been lots of tears and the frustration has come out in a variety of ways. Every night we pray. Joshua’s constant request has been, “Pray that my foot heals quickly.”

After spending many conversations trying to dispense my sage advice (see statements above), with varying degrees of receptivity, I decided that maybe I needed another approach.

After much reflection, I’ve learned that I need to be slower to react and give advice and I need to listen more.

Joshua’s (far right) season so far has been relegated to trying to be a good team-mate and cheer his team-mates when they race.

I realize that I need to be more patient and not get so easily worked up when the response and heart attitude isn’t what I want.

I need to let Joshua process his own disappointment and loss while communicating that I’m for him and that we grieve with him.

Lastly, I want to help Joshua process his circumstances and learn what he can from this situation.

I’ve found that some of the coaching training we’ve been going through has been helpful to just ask questions. Questions such as:

What is the Lord teaching you? What are you learning about your identity and yourself through this? How can this situation help shape you as a person and leader? What can you learn about being a good team-mate through this?

Sixteen year olds are not always ready to learn these life lessons. But then again, us old guys aren’t always ready either!

Thanks for your ministry in our lives as we navigate the ups and downs of life and seek to learn our own life lessons.

Please pray for wisdom for us as we parent our twins and seek to guide them toward Jesus!

If you think about it, please pray for Joshua and his injury. Pray that his foot would heal and that he wouldn’t have any recurrence of the foot issue. Lastly, pray that he would consider the lessons the Lord is wanting to teach him through the situation he’s been in.

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Nacho Libre and Stones of Remembrance

I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook. If you’re like me, it’s easy to get sucked into scrolling through your Facebook feed to see what’s happening with everyone you know (and everyone you DON’T know). But sometimes, I end up spending way too much time perusing when I really should be doing something else.

Facebook reminded us of a Halloween shopping trip where Jacob donned this Nacho Libre mask.

One thing that is fun about Facebook though, is the “Memory” feature. Occasionally, Facebook will show you a photo that you posted several years ago to remind you of a memory. Often, it’s something trivial, but sometimes, it brings to mind a special event or activity that has long been buried in the recesses of your brain.

May was a crazy month for us, with track finals, Mother’s Day and the twins’ birthday (on the same day), the boys’ driving test and our anniversary (also on the same day) as well as our nephew’s graduation in Fresno. It was a perfect opportunity to create more “memories.”

One of the things I love about Jen is that she takes great care to preserve the memories in our family. Whether it’s scrapbooking or making sure to get cards for special events and occasions, she does an amazing job of helping us “remember” the things that are important in our family.

In particular, Jen always tries to make sure Jacob and Joshua feel special on their birthday. She often does this by decorating the house with confetti, banners, balloons and other Happy birthday paraphernalia on their special day.

This year, Jen got a banner that had a clothespin attached to each letter of the phrase “Happy 16th birthday!” Since I’m the photographer in the family, Jen tasked me with the job of finding photos from the past year to attach to each clothespin on the banner.

The idea was to celebrate memorable moments of the past year while looking forward to the next year.

Jen poses for a photo with Jacob (left) and Joshua in front of their 16th birthday banner.

It was interesting to look back through photos from the past year because I realized how easy it is to forget about things that happened even such a short time ago.

I think God knows that we tend to be forgetful, which is why He commanded the Israelites so many times in the Old Testament to “Remember.” (The word “remember” occurs more than 130 times in the Old Testament alone)

In Joshua 4, right after the Israelites had crossed the Jordan River to enter the promised land, the Lord told Joshua to have representatives from each of the 12 tribes to take a stone from the middle of the Jordan River and to stack it in the place where they lodged that first night in the Promised Land.

This simple mound of rocks was to serve as a reminder to the Israelites for generations to come that the Lord had stopped the flow of the Jordan River long enough to allow the people to cross into the Promised Land. It was a Stone of Remembrance.

If you think about it, the many Jewish feasts and festivals scattered throughout the year served a similar purpose. Each was initiated as a way to remember something special the Lord had done to deliver or preserve His chosen people. Celebrating the feasts on an annual basis ensured a greater probability of remembering God and His extreme goodness and lovingkindness.

I find that I forget all kinds of things these days. I sometimes forget about appointments I scheduled. Sometimes I forget things that Jen has told me (she might say this is a frequent occurrence). And just like the Israelites, I can forget the many ways in which God has worked in my life and how He’s blessed our family.

I want to create more tangible ways of helping me remember what God has done in our lives and ministry. One way I have done that is occasionally taking time to look back through our old newsletters, which is a history (of sorts) of what God has done.

How about you? What have you done to help yourself remember how the Lord has blessed you? Perhaps you keep a journal that you thumb through regularly, or maybe you keep a detailed list of answered prayers.

Please share with us your ideas. Perhaps we’ll adopt some of them for ourselves!

Thank you for being a part of our story and our journey. We are extremely grateful for you!

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2015 – The Year in Review

Well, 2015 is officially in the books! It’s been a challenging year in many ways as we started out with Jen being in the hospital for a week. But God is good and we’ve been blessed in many ways. Jen has been slowly improving since her condition was stabilized in February and there are many fun memories to revisit – from the boys starting high school and excelling at Cross Country, to getting our first family pet, the boys flying on a plane by themselves for the first time, to seeing friends & family members we hadn’t seen in a while.

Here’s a 2 minute video glimpse of 2015 for the Lowe Family. Have a Happy New Year and here’s to hoping for a blessed 2016!

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Embracing New Vision

It was my junior year of high school and I was at an all day wrestling tournament. As I sat in the stands between matches, I looked across the gym to the other side at the many butcher paper posters that were hanging on the wall cheering on the various teams that were competing. Only, I couldn’t read what they said. I turned to my mom and asked, “Can you read those signs on the wall over there?”

“Yes, can’t you?” she replied.

“No, I can’t see them clearly.”

That was it. The next week, I went to the optometrist and I’ve been wearing glasses ever since.

I often wonder what people did before the invention of glasses. There’s nothing more frustrating than not being able to see things clearly.

Up until last year, Jen had always had perfect vision. Reading up close and seeing things far away had never been an issue, that is, until her long-term Prednisone usage caused cataracts to develop in her eyes. She suddenly found it difficult to see her computer clearly and things at a distance were out of focus.

At first, her eye doctor didn’t want to give her prescription glasses, thinking that her vision would correct itself after she reduced the amount of Prednisone she was taking. But after several months with no change, she went back to the doctor and finally got prescription lenses. The glasses definitely helped, but not as much as we expected.

After several more months of fuzzy vision, Jen went back to the eye doctor and learned that her cataracts had grown and she was going to need surgery.

Two weeks ago, Jen had cataract surgery on her right eye and it’s made a HUGE difference. She no longer needs the glasses that she was using for distance vision. She’s still having difficulty seeing things close up though. We’re not sure if that’s just the normal vision adjustment that we all go through as we age, or if it’s a result of the cataract in her left eye causing her vision to be blurred.

2015-Family-Dana Hills
Jen can see more clearly now that she’s had cataract surgery in her right eye. Joshua (left) and Jacob and seeing more clearly on the trails now that they are wearing contact lenses.

The same day Jen had cataract surgery, I took Jacob and Joshua to see the optometrist.

Joshua started wearing glasses in elementary school while Jacob’s vision seemed to be fine until last fall, when he complained of not being able to see the board in class clearly. A quick eye exam revealed that he too needed glasses for distance. But his vision changed and he recently has complained again about not being able to see things at a distance clearly, even with his glasses.

The eye doctor confirmed what we had suspected. Both Jacob and Joshua needed new lenses as their old prescriptions were no longer adequate.

Because they’re active in running, we decided to let them get contact lenses so they would be able to see, not only in the classroom, but out on the trails as well. This past Saturday, they were able to run in their first invitational with contact lenses.

It’s amazing how much clear vision can affect our perspective and our demeanor. I was reminded of that recently via a Facebook video that went viral showing a 6 month old baby’s reaction to getting glasses and being able to see clearly for the first time. You can check it out the whole story on YouTube at: https://youtu.be/cI1jBVD1OY0.

I’m finding that having a clear vision in ministry is important as well. For the last year and half, our vision has been impaired by the circumstances of life. It’s not that we don’t know what we want to see the Lord accomplish or even have some ideas about how to go about it, but it’s more like the circumstances of life have acted like a cataract, creating barriers out of our control that made it difficult to focus.

But the good news is that with Jen’s condition more stable than it’s been in the last 18 months, we are finally beginning to see things more clearly and with more focus.

We’re excited to move forward on the journey the Lord has us on. There are still challenges and circumstances that are making our journey different than we had imagined but we are anxious to see how the Lord will use us to impact Millennials in Orange County and the surrounding Los Angeles area.

Thank you for journeying with us and for being our eyes even when we were not able to focus clearly. We are extremely grateful for you!

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Overcoming June Gloom

Jen shares about her year-long struggle with health issues at our church's Sunday service.
Jen shares about her year-long struggle with health issues at our church’s Sunday service.

The weather in Southern California is great almost year round. While much of the country was under several feet of snow this past winter, we had almost spring like weather conditions here. It’s one of the things that makes Southern California such an attractive vacation destination and it’s also why so many people want to live here, which in turn explains why it’s so expensive to live here.

In June, however, most of the the Los Angeles and Orange County basin experiences a phenomenon that has come to be known as June gloom. I’m not a meteorologist, so I can’t explain all of the meteorological conditions that contribute to June gloom. I just know that for much of June, for some reason, a thick marine layer often creeps in off the coast and envelopes the southland, creating overcast skies in the morning that often burn off by late morning or mid day.

Because our house is located up against the Saddleback mountain foothills at about 800 feet elevation, we often will walk out of our house in the morning to clear, sunny skies. But as I drive down the hill to take the boys to school, it’s not uncommon for us to drive right down into that marine layer where it’s overcast and the sun is not directly visible.

This last year for us has felt a lot like June gloom. It’s as if one day everything was going great and it was sunny outside, but then we experienced some health issues that felt a lot like driving down into that thick marine layer.

For the last year, life has not had the clear, sunny outlook that we would want. Instead, it’s been overcast and even foggy at times. Life has been challenging and at times we’ve wondered if we would ever see the sun through the dark clouds.

These last few months have given us hope that perhaps the June gloom clouds are beginning to burn off and dissipate. We are beginning to see signs of the sun peeking through.

Several months ago, when we started seeing experts at UCLA, Jen was put on a new immunosuppressant that seems to be working. As a result, she has been able to slowly taper down on the amount of Prednisone she’s taking and that alone has helped her to begin to feel more like herself each day.

A few weeks ago, Jen was able to be on a conference call with a work group with which she’s been involved. That was a big step forward since she’s had to disengage with much of her work load for many months now.

Jen-Crossline4
Jen is interviewed by JP Jones, Senior Pastor of Crossline Church.

Last Sunday, Jen was asked to share in front of our church congregation a bit of her journey this past year with her health and how God has met her in the midst of the challenges of life. It was another key moment in her recovery, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well. (You can watch the video interview online at: vimeo.com/130399778)

Things aren’t back to normal by any stretch but there is more hope now than anytime in the last 8 months that perhaps this disease can be managed and we can fully resume the mission to which we’ve been called.

We’re so grateful for your prayers and the way you’ve cared for our family this past year. Would you please continue to pray for our family and for Jen’s continued recovery?

Pray specifically for Jen’s blurred vision to clear and for her lung capacity to increase. Pray too that the side effects of long-term Prednisone use would continue to dissipate.

We continue to trust the Lord for this road we’re on and we pray that the Lord might find us faithful and fruitful as we follow Him and serve Him.

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A Setback for Jen’s Recovery

Jen-ReaganLibraryFriends,
Thank you so much for your continued prayers for Jen. Please, please, please continue to pray for healing.Today, Jen was readmitted to the hospital for more tests. Let me explain why.

After Jen’s last infusion 4 weeks ago, she had some blood work done that seemed to indicate that things were going well with her lungs and her kidney. We were encouraged.

However, 2 weeks ago, Jen unexpectedly started experiencing some low grade fevers off and on and also was dealing with some shortness of breath.

Last week we visited Jen’s rheumatologist who was concerned when Jen shared about the symptoms she was experiencing. The possible causes of her symptoms could be a return of the vasculitis or maybe an infection that she has developed in her lungs.

Today, Jen saw her pulmonologist who determined that her lung functioning is only at about 50%. Because of that, Jen has been readmitted to the hospital for further testing to try to determine the cause of her lung issues.

Would you take a moment and pray for Jen right now? Pray that the doctors would have wisdom to correctly diagnose what is happening. And pray that she would be able to get treatment to correct her condition. Please pray that the Lord would heal her and restore her health.

We serve a mighty God who is able to do exceedingly more than we ask or imagine. Pray that God would be glorified through Jen and that He would choose to bring healing to her body.

Because Jen’s health issues have been ongoing, we’ve decided to set up a Caring Bridge site where we can post regular updates about Jen and her health. Please check out her site and register to receive updates whenever a new journal entry is posted.

The site is: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jenlowe

Thank you so much and God Bless!
Dave & Jen
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The Fall Forecast

20140806_124441
Dave, with Joshua and Jacob on the USC campus early in August on Dave’s birthday!

Each day, sometime after I (Dave) wake up, I grab my phone and the first thing I do is __________ ? Many of you probably would think that I check my e-mail but that is not correct. One of the first things I do when I grab my smartphone is check my weather app. I want to see what the forecast is for the day. How hot is it going to be? Will I need to run the air conditioner? And will it be so hot that I need to think about extra water for the grass and plants? And most importantly, is there any chance of rain in the forecast?

For much of California, we have been in extreme drought conditions for the past 2 years. Our snowfall in the Sierras in 2013 was about 25% less than average and 2014 was much worse at only about 30% of our average snowfall. (see this link for satellite images on the California drought: http://goo.gl/U56uFH)

Earlier in the year, forecasters had been predicting El Nino conditions for this winter which would bring the promise of above average rain and snow in the west. However, those forecasts may have been premature and the possibility of another dry winter still looms. (This article from the IndyStar explains: http://goo.gl/HNSyf6)

Water is essential for life and the lack of water can complicate normal daily activities and routines. The forecast for this fall calls for more dry weather but we’re praying for rain and snow to help bring relief and normalcy back to this region.

In our personal lives and ministry, we’re also forecasting what life and ministry will look like for the fall.

Typically, the fall is a busy season. The kids head back to school and with it comes lots of homework and other activities.

Jen is usually busy with travel for her Leadership development role and of course, we have our local ministry with Millennials that we are developing.

However, the forecast for our fall looks different than normal. Recently, Jen has been getting infusions of a chemotherapy grade drug that is designed to put her vasculitis disease into remission. As I write this, she has received 3 of the 4 infusions, with her last infusion next week. Over the next couple of months, her immune system will be broken down and rebuilt. This is normal and expected but the result will be a compromised immune system for several months.

Jen’s third Rituxan infusion bag. Though it looks like simple water, we’re trusting that the Lord will use this to reset Jen’s immune system and restore her health.
Jen’s third Rituxan infusion bag. Though it looks like simple water, we’re trusting that the Lord will use this to reset Jen’s immune system and restore her health.

After consulting Jen’s rheumatologist and learning how the process works, we realized that traveling this fall would not be wise with a compromised immune system.

As a drought impairs normal activity for those who are affected, our lives and ministry have been affected by Jen’s condition. Ironically, the drug that Jen is taking looks as clear as water and we’re praying that the infusions have the desired effect on Jen’s immune system.

So while the short term forecast means we’ll be grounded and working more locally and virtually, we’re hoping and trusting the Lord to bring some healing and restoration to Jen so that the long term forecast might bring a return of normal activity to our lives.

Whatever the circumstances we’re in, our prayer is that we would glorify Him with our lives and that He would bear fruit through us as we serve Him in whatever capacity we’re able to serve.

Thank you for your continued prayers and encouragement. Please pray with us, that the Lord would “bring the rain” in our personal lives as well as this region in which we live.

We are so grateful for you and we thank the Lord for you and we pray for the Lord’s blessings in your life as well. And we invite you to share your needs and requests with us so that we can pray for you as well!

Click here to read the pdf version of “The Lowedown”

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One Down, Three to Go

Dear Friends,

2014-Aug-BarnardsLast Thursday (Aug 21), Jen had her first infusion of Rituxan. Thank you for praying. The infusion went well in that there was no adverse reaction and no noticeable side effects. Though this is a chemo-therapy grade drug, the good thing about Rituxan is that most people adjust well to the treatment and don’t experience any adverse sickness or reaction.

Jen was able to come home and pretty much resume normal activities.

Today (Wednesday, August 27th), as I write this, Jen is receiving her second infusion. After today, she’ll have two more infusions and then we will be able to see if the medicine is working.

Please continue to pray with us that the Rituxan would put this disease in remission and that her vital organs, lungs and kidney, would not be adversely affected.

Thanks for your continued prayers and concern.

God Bless!

Dave & Jen

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Nazi’s, Codes and our Ongoing Medical Journey

What does a Nazi and a code have to do with Jen’s medical condition? Read on to find out.

Frederich Wegener was a German pathologist who in 1936 and 1939 was the first person to give a full description of the disease that is now afflicting Jen. It came to be known as Wegener’s disease or Wegener’s granulomatosis. However, in 2006, two doctors investigating Wegener’s past, determined that at some point he was involved in the Nazi regime and was even wanted by Polish authorities for possible war crimes. Given his professional past, there has been a desire by the medical community to refer to this disease as P-Anca Vasculitis rather than attaching it to Wegener’s name. (Read more about Wegener in this 2008 New York Times article)

Jen and I take a day to celebrate her birthday by visiting the J. Paul Getty museum.
Jen and I take a day to celebrate her birthday by visiting the J. Paul Getty museum.

By faith, we have scheduled an infusion of Rituxan for Jennifer for this Thursday. I say “by faith” because we still have not been approved by our insurance to cover this treatment. This despite the fact that we have been waiting for 3 weeks for an approval that should probably take 3 days or even less.

So what is the holdup? A code. That’s right, a code. Not a Nazi code but a medical code. Somehow, the insurance company was given a code that represents Jen’s condition that is not accurate. The code is not correct for the diagnosis she has. So we’re scrambling this week to get the code corrected so that Jen can begin the infusions to treat her disease.

While it all seems like a simple thing to correct, somehow when dealing with insurance companies and approvals such as these, nothing is quite as simple as it would seem it should be.

So we ask for your prayers this week. Pray that we would get the approval for the infusion BEFORE Jen gets the infusion. Pray that we would be able to get our doctor and the insurance company to communicate the right information with one another in an expeditious fashion. And lastly, pray that these infusions (she’ll need one per week for four weeks) will put the vasculitis into remission and that Jen will be on the road to managing this disease.

Thanks so much for your continued prayers. We are grateful for your love and support.

Please let us know how you are doing and if there is any way we can pray for you as well.

God Bless!

Dave & Jen