Category: Marriage

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What Does it Mean to be Unequally Yoked?

2 Corinthians 6

14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15 What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? 16What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, (2 Corinthians 6:14-16, ESV)

The Daily DAVEotional

Not long ago, I was conversing with a Young adult who was interested in pursuing a relationship. He was under the impression though that this person he was interested in was “off limits” because of Paul’s command in this passage that believers should “not be unequally yoked.”

As we talked further, it was clear to me that his understanding of what Paul was teaching in this passage was not quite accurate. It made me wonder how many Christians misunderstand what this passage is saying.

To properly understand this passage, one has to know something about the function and purpose of a yoke.

A yoke is a tool used by farmers and in the New Testament, which was primarily an agrarian society, the meaning of Paul’s command would have been less confusing than it is to the modern reader who may have never even seen a farm, much less understood a farming term.

A yoke is a wooden bar or collar that fits around a pair of animals (such as oxen) for the purpose of pairing them together to pull a load. Often the yoke had a plow attached to the center of the bar and was used for tilling a plow line.

When pairing two animals to a yoke, it is important that the animals be of equal size and strength. This allows for the plow line to be straight. If the size and strength of the animals yoked together is unequal, you will have the unfortunate situation of one animal overpowering the other, which will cause your plow line to veer or even move in a circular pattern instead of a straight line.

Paul is using this everyday farming illustration that his audience was quite familiar with in order to explain a spiritual reality.

When he says that a believer should not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever, he’s saying that believers should not be united with those who don’t have the same views and values. If you have different beliefs and values, it will be more difficult to move in the same direction and with the same purpose.

This passage is often referenced in the context of dating and marital relationships to show a believer that God doesn’t want them to pursue relationships with non-believers. However, this command is not exclusive to marriage. It applies to other types of relationships as well, such as business partnerships, etc.

The idea is really simple actually. You are trying to plow in a straight line. But if you have two animals that are unequally yoked, that is, not of the same size and strength, you end up with a non-straight plow line. Two animals of equal size and strength will work together more easily. Two animals that are “unequal” are more likely to work against each other. The objective of plowing that straight line becomes increasingly more difficult, if not impossible.

Now let’s relate this to relationships. What is Paul saying?

A Christian has a set of beliefs about God and a core set of values about how to live life. A non-Christian has a completely different set of beliefs and values. When you’re in a marriage relationship, or even a business partnership, it is difficult to move forward and in the same direction if the two partners have different and competing beliefs and values.

In a marriage relationship, this gets even more complicated when kids are involved. Questions like, “how will we raise the kids?”, “what faith tradition will we practice?”, “how will we administer discipline?”, and other important questions must be addressed. These issues often become the source of great conflict as each partner seeks to exert their beliefs, values and preferences.

It’s quite common in marriage for partners to compromise and change their views over time in order to achieve marital harmony and minimize conflict. In a situation with one believing spouse and one unbelieving spouse, the danger is that the believing spouse will compromise their beliefs and values in order to accommodate the unbelieving spouse.

This tendency to be influenced over time by the beliefs and values of non-believers is exactly why God, in the Old Testament, warned and even commanded the Israelites against marrying foreigners. The danger was that the pagan foreigners would negatively influence their spouse to drift away from worship of the true God. In the most extreme case, the believer might forsake God altogether and begin worshiping foreign gods and pagan deities.

This is exactly what happened with Solomon later in life. Countless other biblical examples could be cited that demonstrate the dangers of which Paul is warning.

So what does it mean when Paul commands believers not to be unequally yoked?

It means don’t align yourself or permanently partner yourself with someone who does not have the same biblical beliefs and spiritual values. If you do, you will likely find yourself with plenty of conflict and disharmony as each person seeks to control the direction of the relationship or partnership according to their beliefs and values. The pursuit of God is likely to become minimized or eliminated altogether.

One final note on this passage. In explaining his reasons for not being unequally yoked, Paul says, “what accord does Christ have with Belial?”

The term “Belial” was understood as a euphemism for “Satan”. This is a strong statement. Paul is saying that the unbeliever’s beliefs and values are following Satan. He does NOT mean that unbelievers are Satan worshipers. But just as Jesus, in John 8, told the Pharisees that they were unwittingly, and unknowingly following the devil, the father of lies, because they were rejecting him, so Paul is saying that those who are unbelievers, as wholesome, nice and moral as they may appear, are unwittingly and unknowingly following Satan, who will use any tool or method at his disposal to create chaos, disorder and conflict in order to render a believer in Christ ineffective and useless.

So if you’re a follower of Christ and you’re thinking about entering into a relationship with someone who is NOT a follower of Christ, THINK AGAIN!

(For more on Jesus’ exchange with the Pharisees in John 8, which included his proclamation that they were following their father, Satan, see my blog post, “Who’s Your Daddy?”)

Reflection

What examples have you seen that show the dangers of being unequally yoked, either in marriage or a business partnership? 

What advice would you give a person who is thinking of pursuing a dating relationship with someone who does not share their Christian faith? How would you counsel this person?

If being equally yoked means sharing the same beliefs and values, how would you go about determining whether the other person’s beliefs and values are “equal” to yours?

As a Christian, what beliefs and values do you think are essential to include in your list to evaluate whether the other person is “equally yoked”.

 

Photo by Paul Jai on Unsplash

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A “Golden” Opportunity

Helping out our Cru Military ministry at the FamilyLife Conference in Anaheim

Lately, we’ve been thinking a lot about marriage. In November, Jen and I attended a Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference hosted by FamilyLife. It was excellent. If you haven’t been to one, we highly recommend it.

In February, Jen and I helped out at a Weekend to Remember Conference in Anaheim. There were a number of military couples attending and our Cru Military ministry had a special booth and specific resources to help military families navigate the unique marital struggles they encounter.

In February, our church embarked on a 3 year plan that will lay the foundation for the next 45 years. One of the initiatives that is laid out as part of the “Dream Now” vision is strengthening families. A statistic that was shared is that 70% of all marriages in Orange County end in divorce.

We know all too well how the breakdown of the family has impacted the Young Adults of today. The landscape of families has encountered a seismic shift in the last 40-50 years.

An often quoted statistic about the spiritual influence men have with their family

When I was a kid, I didn’t know anyone whose parents were divorced. Today, divorce is so common that it’s almost strange to meet a Young Adult whose parents are still together.

All of this has created some unique challenges and opportunities when it comes to ministry.

Young Adults are less likely to have a strong extended family to rely on for support, whether it’s emotional or financial.

Because the nuclear family has been so fractured over the past 50 years, many Young Adults are longing for older adults who can provide mentoring and sage life advice that older family members have traditionally provided. I can’t tell you how often a Young Adult has mentioned to me or to Jen that they have nobody in their life who is older with whom they can discuss life issues.

For the last few years, I’ve been very involved in men’s ministry at our church (Jen is also very involved in the women’s ministry). I do some occasional teaching and I give leadership to a group of men who meet early on a weekly basis.

I’ve enjoyed applying all of the ministry training and experience I’ve accrued over the years to help older guys grow in their spiritual lives.

As I’ve connected with men over the years, I’ve realized that spiritually speaking, old guys have the same needs as young guys. Men want to make a difference and they want their lives to count. Men often want to take steps to grow spiritually but many times, they don’t know what to do beyond attending church, giving money and being involved in a small group.

Lately, we’ve been wondering if we can somehow “marry” our day job (Young Adults) with our part-time ministry to older adults.

Young Adults overwhelmingly indicate they want older people in their lives to function as mentors and even spiritual guides.

Older adults often communicate a strong desire to make an impact in others, particularly the younger generation.

Partnering with Cru Military at a Family Life Conference. Multiple ministries collaborating and intersecting.

What if we could help older Christians take steps to mentor and influence the young adults around them?

We’ve actually had this idea for a while but it’s been brought to the forefront more recently as God has provided numerous situations and personal examples that have made this need obvious and undeniable.

Our vision is not just to mentor Young Adults directly, though we are doing that. What we really want to do is to multiply our impact by equipping others, particularly older, wiser and more mature believers to take steps to pour into and impact Young adults. We believe that there is a golden opportunity for those who are entering their golden years!

Perhaps that sounds interesting. If so, let us know. We’d love to hear your thoughts and provide support and help for you to take meaningful steps that would enable you to make an impact in the lives of others!

Thank you for your continued prayers and partnership that enables us to minister to Young Adults…and Old Adults as well!

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Is God Against Interracial Marriages?

Deuteronomy 7

1“When the LORD your God brings you into the land you are about to enter and occupy, he will clear away many nations ahead of you: the Hittites, Girgashites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites. These seven nations are all more powerful than you. 2When the LORD your God hands these nations over to you and you conquer them, you must completely destroy them. Make no treaties with them and show them no mercy. 3Do not intermarry with them, and don’t let your daughters and sons marry their sons and daughters. 4They will lead your young people away from me to worship other gods. Then the anger of the LORD will burn against you, and he will destroy you. 5Instead, you must break down their pagan altars and shatter their sacred pillars. Cut down their Asherah poles and burn their idols. 6For you are a holy people, who belong to the LORD your God. Of all the people on earth, the LORD your God has chosen you to be his own special treasure. (Deuteronomy 7:1-6, NLT)

Ezra 9

1But then the Jewish leaders came to me and said, “Many of the people of Israel, and even some of the priests and Levites, have not kept themselves separate from the other peoples living in the land. They have taken up the detestable practices of the Canaanites, Hittites, Perizzites, Jebusites, Ammonites, Moabites, Egyptians, and Amorites. 2For the men of Israel have married women from these people and have taken them as wives for their sons. So the holy race has become polluted by these mixed marriages. To make matters worse, the officials and leaders are some of the worst offenders.”

3When I heard this, I tore my clothing, pulled hair from my head and beard, and sat down utterly shocked. 4Then all who trembled at the words of the God of Israel came and sat with me because of this unfaithfulness of his people. And I sat there utterly appalled until the time of the evening sacrifice.

5At the time of the sacrifice, I stood up from where I had sat in mourning with my clothes torn. I fell to my knees, lifted my hands to the LORD my God. 6I prayed, “O my God, I am utterly ashamed; I blush to lift up my face to you. For our sins are piled higher than our heads, and our guilt has reached to the heavens. 7Our whole history has been one of great sin. That is why we and our kings and our priests have been at the mercy of the pagan kings of the land. We have been killed, captured, robbed, and disgraced, just as we are today.

8“But now we have been given a brief moment of grace, for the LORD our God has allowed a few of us to survive as a remnant. He has given us security in this holy place. Our God has brightened our eyes and granted us some relief from our slavery. 9For we were slaves, but in his unfailing love our God did not abandon us in our slavery. Instead, he caused the kings of Persia to treat us favorably. He revived us so that we were able to rebuild the Temple of our God and repair its ruins. He has given us a protective wall in Judah and Jerusalem.

10“And now, O our God, what can we say after all of this? For once again we have ignored your commands! 11Your servants the prophets warned us that the land we would possess was totally defiled by the detestable practices of the people living there. From one end to the other, the land is filled with corruption. 12You told us not to let our daughters marry their sons, and not to let our sons marry their daughters, and not to help those nations in any way. You promised that if we avoided these things, we would become a prosperous nation. You promised that we would enjoy the good produce of the land and leave this prosperity to our children as an inheritance forever.

13“Now we are being punished because of our wickedness and our great guilt. But we have actually been punished far less than we deserve, for you, our God, have allowed some of us to survive as a remnant. 14But now we are again breaking your commands and intermarrying with people who do these detestable things. Surely your anger will destroy us until even this little remnant no longer survives. 15O LORD, God of Israel, you are just. We stand before you in our guilt as nothing but an escaped remnant, though in such a condition none of us can stand in your presence.” (Ezra 9:1-15, NLT)

The Daily DAVEotional

What does the Bible say about interracial marriage? Is God against it?

Some have argued that God’s design was for the races to remain pure and as a result, God prohibits interracial marriages. The Bible has been used by some in the past to promote the view that interracial marriages are wrong and against God’s design.

In America for example, some states prohibited interracial marriages as recently as 1967. Biblical passages have often been cited in support of this view.

Interracial Marriage in the United States

Richard and Mildred Loving were married in 1958 in Virginia. Richard was a white man and Mildred was ethnically mixed with Black and Native heritage. 

Virginia law at the time prohibited interracial cohabitation so Richard and Mildred were arrested and given a choice – either go to prison or leave the state of Virginia. They chose to leave Virginia.

However, they challenged the legality of Virginia’s law and their case made it all the way to the Supreme Court, which, in a landmark 1967 ruling, declared that laws against inter-racial marriages were unconstitutional, a violation of the 14th amendment. (Taken from an article on NPR.org) 

In my reading today, I read these two different passages from Deuteronomy and Ezra that amazingly, talked about the same issue within the nation of Israel – God’s prohibition of mixed marriages.

These passages, at first glance, seem to argue that God does indeed prohibit mixed marriage, or interracial marriage. For example, Deuteronomy 7:2,-3 says:

2When the LORD your God hands these nations over to you and you conquer them, you must completely destroy them. Make no treaties with them and show them no mercy. 3Do not intermarry with them, and don’t let your daughters and sons marry their sons and daughters.

Ezra 9:2 appears even stronger in its denunciation of mixed marriages:

2For the men of Israel have married women from these people and have taken them as wives for their sons. So the holy race has become polluted by these mixed marriages. To make matters worse, the officials and leaders are some of the worst offenders.”

In our modern culture, to see any kind of prohibition that would forbid a person from marrying another person who happens to be from a different race or culture seems inconceivably wrong. Our modern moral convictions view this as extraordinarily racist and unjust.

So what is going on here? Why would God prohibit mixed marriages for the nation of Israel? Why would God punish those who married someone of a different race? Isn’t that racist?

When looking at these passages in full context, it’s clear that the reason God commands His people not to intermarry with those from other nations, is NOT because they are different racially, but because they are different ideologically and theologically. In other words, God does indeed want his people to remain pure, but in their understanding of Him, their devotion to Him and their worship of Him, not in their genetic progeny.

If we read just one verse further in the Deuteronomy passage, this is made clear. He tells the Israelites NOT to intermarry with the people they are displacing and destroying because:

4They will lead your young people away from me to worship other gods. (Deuteronomy 7:4)

The Ezra passage expounds on this even further:

11Your servants the prophets warned us that the land we would possess was totally defiled by the detestable practices of the people living there. From one end to the other, the land is filled with corruption. 12You told us not to let our daughters marry their sons, and not to let our sons marry their daughters, and not to help those nations in any way. You promised that if we avoided these things, we would become a prosperous nation….for you, our God, have allowed some of us to survive as a remnant. 14But now we are again breaking your commands and intermarrying with people who do these detestable things. (Ezra 9:11-12, 13b-14, NLT)

The reason God told the Israelites NOT to intermarry with the people from the other nations is because those people did not share the same views about God. They worshiped other gods. They were not believers in Yahweh and they engaged in detestable practices that God abhors.

It is an undeniable truth that when two people marry, over time, they tend to compromise on their different views, whether it’s politically or religiously. People who are married begin to influence their partner in the ways that they think and in the things that they value. This is sometimes good but often it can be negative.

In this case, God is warning His people not to intermarry with those of other nations because in doing so, the result is that they would undoubtedly be led astray spiritually. Over time, their worldview would change and their religious practices would shift in order to accommodate their spouse.

This is why Paul, in 2 Corinthians 6:14 (ESV) says that we are not to be “unequally yoked with unbelievers.”

The admonition is not to avoid marrying a person of another race, but to avoid marrying a person who does not share the same views and devotion to God.

Reflection

What do you think it means when God says He wants to maintain the purity of His people? What does purity look like?

What do you think are some of the reasons why people might say interracial marriages are wrong?

If you are married, what are some examples of ways that you have influenced your spouse’s views and what are some ways your spouse has influenced your views?

What examples can you think of (from the Bible or your personal experience) that demonstrate the dangers in marrying someone who does not share your same spiritual views and values?

What examples can you think of from the Bible that might support the idea that God is not against interracial marriages?

 

Photo by Désirée Fawn on Unsplash

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Communication Advice from the Bible

Proverbs 18

2Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.

6Fools get into constant quarrels; they are asking for a beating.

7The mouths of fools are their ruin; their lips get them into trouble.

13What a shame, what folly, to give advice before listening to the facts!

(Proverbs 18:2, 6, 7, 13, NLT)

The Daily DAVEotional

Several years ago my wife and I took a weekend communication course that had been recommended to us by some friends. The content was really good and we quickly realized how helpful the tools and concepts presented would be for healthy marital communication as well as conflict resolution situations.

The course and content was presented by PhD level communication experts who had spent countless hours researching what makes good, effective communication.

One of the first principles that was presented as important for good communication was to seek to understand BEFORE being understood. That seemed like really good advice.

The presenter then proceeded to share how “scripture” confirmed what the research had discovered.

If you think about it, it’s actually the other way around. Proverbs 18:2 was written thousands of years ago and the research actually confirms what Proverbs has been trying to teach us – that it’s better to understand before you try to be understood. In fact, the scripture calls people who don’t practice this principle “fools”.

The Bible actually has a lot to say about communication. I’ve written here about how James warns us against “Weaponizing our Words“.

The book of Proverbs has a lot to say on the subject as well and Proverbs 18, in particular, is a treasure trove of wisdom on good communication. I wrote here about how our words can be emotionally damaging to others.

Proverbs is a book of wisdom and in many of the chapters there is a contrast between wise living and foolish living. In this chapter, a number of verses cite the foolishness of talking too much.

The fool doesn’t listen but only talks. In a tense or heated conversation, this can lead to quarrels and arguments as the foolish person fails to listen but only seeks to get their point across. In a normal, less tense conversation it can simply lead to someone acting like a know-it-all and giving unsolicited and unwarranted advice instead of listening and understanding the other person’s story and situation.

My guess is you know someone like the fool that is described in these Proverbs 18 verses. If you don’t know someone like that, as the old saying goes, perhaps YOU are that person.

The wise person listens and seeks to understand BEFORE trying to get his or her point across. Research shows that this leads to healthier communication and better relationships. But the Bible knew this all along.

Imagine that!

Reflection

When have you been in a situation where someone gave you advice before listening to really understand your situation? How did that make you feel? What was the outcome of that encounter?

Why do you think people are so anxious to be understood (trying to get their point across) before understanding the other person?

What do you think would be required to “seek to understand before being understood”? What skills and attitudes would need to be present in order to “understand before being understood”?

Based on the principles in these verses, how would you rate your communication patterns on a scale of 1-10? What reasons did you rate yourself the way you did? What steps can you take to improve your rating?

 

Photo by Timur Weber: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-couple-talking-while-arguing-8560383/

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A Recent “Weekend to Remember”

Last month, Jen and I attended a “Weekend to Remember” Getaway Conference sponsored by FamilyLife, which is a ministry of Cru. 

We’ve found this weekend conference to be a great way to reflect on and invest in our marriage. It really is one of the best resources our ministry offers. 

We’ve attended this conference a few times over our 30 years of marriage but it actually had been over 15 years since our last conference, so it seemed like a good time for a refresher. And being in LaJolla was not a bad selling point!

But we had a secondary reason for attending this particular conference. 

Of all the Weekend to Remember Conferences FamilyLife puts on each year, a select few are labeled as “Military Friendly”. What that means is that military couples who attend are given additional opportunities to connect and are provided with additional resources to help navigate the unique challenges that military families experience.

We were able to greet military couples when they arrived, give them a goodie bag and alert them to the lounge and a special breakout session just for them.

Families are extremely important to God. In the Old Testament, God is portrayed as a Father and the Nation of Israel are His people.

The New Testament continues the theme by showing that when people of any race or ethnicity put their faith in Jesus and His death, they are adopted into God’s family as His sons and daughters.

The family unit is an important building block culture. Study after study demonstrates that many of the problems we are experiencing in our culture – the rise in crime, exponential drug use, failing education system, etc. – find their roots in the breakdown of the traditional family. There is no doubt that healthy families result in healthier communities.

Keeping families together is hard enough these days. But military families experience additional challenges that civilian families don’t. From frequent moves to long-term deployments, military families have an added layer of complexity that must be navigated and considered. 

We had tons of FREE resources available for military families to help them navigate the specific pressures that come with military service.

Our goal at this conference was simply to be available to military couples and provide resources that might help them in their current situation.

Over 25 military couples attended the conference. We were able to greet couples when they checked in and then alert them to a special lounge we had prepared for their own use during the conference.

In addition, we had a special breakout session for military couples where we were able to highlight resources and opportunities Cru Military provides for Military families beyond the weekend getaway.

It was nice for us to experience a short getaway given all that we’ve experienced this Fall in our own family. It was also nice to be able to meet some military couples who were in attendance, hear their stories and provide encouragement and resources to help them lead their families well while serving our country. 

If you’ve never attended a Weekend to Remember Getaway, we highly recommend it. Even if you have done one before, it’s never a bad idea to invest in your marriage. 

Reach out to us if you’re interested and we would be glad to give you more information!

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What Does it Look Like to Follow Jesus?

Luke 9

57As they were walking along someone said to Jesus, “I will follow you no matter where you go.”

58But Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens to live in, and birds have nests, but I, the Son of Man, have no home of my own, not even a place to lay my head.”

59He said to another person, “Come, be my disciple.”

The man agreed, but he said, “Lord, first let me return home and bury my father.”

60Jesus replied, “Let those who are spiritually dead care for their own dead. Your duty is to go and preach the coming of the Kingdom of God.”

61Another said, “Yes, Lord, I will follow you, but first let me say good-bye to my family.”

62But Jesus told him, “Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:57-62, NLT)

The Daily DAVEotional

At the end of Luke chapter 9, someone tells Jesus he will follow Him wherever He goes. Jesus then lays out some requirements for truly following Him.

The first thing he says, in verse 58, is that “Foxes have dens to live in, and birds have nests, but I, the Son of Man, have no home of my own, not even a place to lay my head.”

What’s he saying? Jesus is saying that following Him may be uncomfortable and will require sacrifice. Are you willing to give up a life of comfort and ease in order to follow me?

Another person responded to Jesus’s call to discipleship by saying he wanted to first go home and bury his father. Jesus responds, in verse 60, saying “Let those who are spiritually dead care for their own dead. Your duty is to go and preach the coming of the Kingdom of God.”

Is Jesus against family responsibilities?

No. It’s unlikely the person’s father was already dead for if he was, the man would not likely have been there in the first place to interact with Jesus. What the man was really saying is that he would follow Jesus at a later date, when life circumstances are different. Jesus responds by saying that following Him means making Him a priority over everything else, including family.

Finally, a third person says he will follow Jesus but only after saying goodbye to his family.

Jesus responds by saying, “Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.”

Again, Jesus is not against families. He’s merely pointing out that following Him means enduring to the end.

If you think about it, following Jesus is like a marriage.

What does this have to do with marriage?

Well, if you’ve ever been to a wedding ceremony, it’s traditional for the officiant to lead the bride and groom in an exchange of vows. Usually, the official will ask each participant if they will commit themselves to the other person and stay committed through a variety of life’s conditions, including:

    • For richer for poorer (sacrifice)
    • In sickness and in health (priority)
    • ’til death do us part (endurance)

Notice that these conditions are the same conditions that Jesus set forth as necessary to be His follower. If you want to follow Jesus, it will take sacrifice; He must be your priority and you must endure to the end.

If you think about it, Jesus is asking us to marry Him. Not literally, of course. But to be a follower of Jesus carries that same level of commitment, dedication and intentionality.

Reflection

What do you think about the idea that when Jesus invites you to follow Him, it’s like He’s asking you to marry Him?

Which of the three conditions Jesus lays out for following Him do you struggle with the most?

What would keep you from committing yourself to Jesus in the way He invites His true followers?

 

Photo by Sandy Millar on Unsplash

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2018 Lowe Family Year in Review

It’s been a year full of ups and downs and many new adventures for our family. We are blessed by the many friends and family who have journeyed with us in 2018. Enjoy this short video overview of our last year!

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Adventure is Out There!

Enjoying great weather and a great view in South Boston!

Last weekend, we decided to go as a family to see the new Disney Pixar movie The Incredibles 2. It was a fun movie and like most Pixar movies, there were some great life messages communicated through the story.

Pixar movies have all been commercial successes among movie-goers and critics alike!

While debriefing the movie with the family afterward, someone asked, “What are your top 5 Pixar movies?”

I think the typical responses to that question might include movies like Toy Story, Finding Nemo or Monsters Inc. But one Pixar movie that is definitely in my top 5 is the movie UP, which is the story of Carl Fredrickson, who as a boy, dreams of a life of adventure. While fantasizing about traversing exotic canyons and far-off vistas, Carl encounters Ellie, a spit-fired, rambunctious girl who seems to perfectly complement Carl’s shy demeanor. Ellie shows Carl her “Adventure book”, a scrapbook with maps, posters and a host of blank pages to document all the “Stuff I’m Going to Do!”

UP chronicles the story of Carl Frederickson, a man who has always dreamed of adventure!

As the movie progresses, Carl and Ellie grow up, get married, build a home and begin saving for their big adventurous trip. But life continually brings challenges, both financial and health-related, that keep them from taking the trip of their dreams.   

Finally, Ellie gets sick and dies, leaving Carl alone and full of regret that he had not fulfilled the promise to provide a life of adventure that he had made when he was younger

Later in the movie, in a moment of reflection, Carl finds Ellie’s Adventure book. This time, he notices that the formerly blank pages are filled with photos and mementos of their many years together. The last photo of the two, taken just before her death, includes a note that says, “Thanks for the adventure!”

I love the message that adventure is not so much all the things you do but who you do it with. Adventure is more about loving deeply than just having new and novel experiences. When Jesus invites us in John 10:10 to experience the abundant life, I think this is what he means – He invites us into a relationship of knowing and loving Him deeply (with all our heart, soul, mind and strength).

Our 25 year anniversary book, documenting a quarter-century of adventure together!

This May, Jen and I celebrated our 25th year of marriage together. To commemorate our anniversary, I created my own “Adventure Book”, documenting many of the things we’ve done and experienced together – the ups and downs, the good and the bad. When I think back on our 25 years together, I’m so fortunate to have found a person who has loved me deeply and helped to make life such a great adventure!

If you’re reading this, it’s because you’ve likely been a part of our journey somehow. Thanks for being a part of this great adventure that we continue to enjoy together!

Overlooking the beautiful Hudson River from scenic West Point Military Academy, where we dropped off Jacob and Joshua to experience a week of life as a cadet.